Self-doubt be damned!

I have a confession to make.

Now that the post-Group Kick training buzz has worn off, a bit of self-doubt is creeping into the back of my mind. And I hate it!

I was at Group Ride this morning and I was totally attuned to every word the instructor (one of my faves – Heather!) uttered, every move she made, every cue she offered. I tried to picture myself up there and two things came to mind:

“Wow, teaching Group Ride would be soooo much less technical than Group Kick!”

And, “can I really do this?” was the second thought.

That’s not the thought I wanted to hear in my mind’s eye. I was sharing this tidbit with one of my fab friends this morning who gave me some great advice. She reminded me that if I set my mind to something, I will not fail. She also reminded me that failure is ok and not the end of the world.

Of course I love her dearly for those words of wisdom, BUT, I don’t want to fail. I really don’t. I have always wanted to put my fitness obsession to good use and this is my opportunity to make it or break it.

Plus, now I”m all paranoid that all my flapping about it here and with friends/family is going to jinx me. Everyone is so excited to see me and my sister teach this class, but what if it doesn’t work out that way for one reason or another? Will you still love me?? (I know, I know, of course you will!)

So anyway, that’s where my head is at today. I am trying so hard to ignore the self-doubt and focus on being confident in my abilities and the fact that this is supposed to be  a FUN challenge too.

I’m just having a moment, it’ll pass, I just needed to get it out of my system. Thank god for this blog! Carry on. 😉

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8 thoughts on “Self-doubt be damned!

  1. I’m going to agree with your FAB friend. If you put your mind to it, you will not fail. That is some great advice! I know you very well, you are not going to fail at this, you want it too much. Whenever you start hearing that self-doubting voice in your head, hum a little tune and BLOCK IT OUT! You can do this, you will do this, and you are going to be amazing!

  2. actors have the same feelings you describe, and if they DON’T feel some trepidation before going on stage, THAT is when they worry. that’s the kickstart to the adrenaline and motivation they will need to truly do a stellar performance, so I would worry if you DIDN’T feel this way. that would only lead to complacency and undeserved over-confidence… resulting in a sucky performance, not a rockin’ one.

    so it is entirely natural to experience these emotions, and they will push you to PREPARE and EXCEL and DO whatever you need to do to succeed.

    I know you will do that, and failure is not an option for you. Besides, what is failure here? is it a class that is not perfect? no, nothing is ever perfect. is it feeling like you cannot do this? no, you have proved that you can do it and that it is improving your performance (the STS pushups proof). is it giving a class where you may feel you screwed something up? no, because you are still doing BETTER than the people taking the class, who are not going to be judgmental about every little thing, who will probably barely notice what YOU think is a glaring mis-cue… so what is failure here? Failure is quitting. I know you are NOT a quitter, Jess.

    and you know it too. and you know you can do this, and that you will grow and do it well. it will become natural to you over time, so give it time. patience is not your strong suit but DETERMINATION is your strength, and that’s what got you here!

    “carry on”…exactly it, Jess. you got it.

  3. Pingback: MWFF Seeking her inner aggression « EatDrinkBreatheSweat

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