It hit me during Group Ride this morning. I. Am. An. Instructor.
All of this self-doubt and worrying that I’ll fail, no more.
But, let me back up and explain where this epiphany stemmed from…
In class this morning, one of my favorite instructors (he’s a riot, haven’t taken his class in awhile) was chatting me up about Kick, asking how it was going, etc. He mentioned he’d give me a shout-out at the end of class to get people amped up about the Feb 6 launch. So, we get to the “celebrate” track and he mentions Kick coming up and points me out as one of the Kick instructors who’s been working so hard to bring them all a new class, etc.
I sat there and smiled, whooped it up a little and everyone seemed so excited to hear more about Kick. That was a pretty neat feeling – that everyone is starting to get really excited to try a new class. But what really got me? That he called me a Kick “instructor,” not just some chick “training” to be an instructor but an actual instructor. Trust me, there is a difference in that nuance!
I will now wear that “instructor” badge with honor. I will stop second guessing myself or fearing that I won’t find that inner badass in me. It’s there. I know it is . And I’m ready to show it off to the world.
Speaking of “show off,” one of my sister’s blog friends made the most INTERESTING observation over at her blog (yes, she’s having the same doubts as I am, shocker right?). One of the comments at the very end was SO spot-on, it was kind of unreal to read it this morning as I prepare for a pretty major practice run this afternoon as we prep for our first “sneak peek” class next weekend. I’d encourage you go head on over to her blog to read the full comment, but this piece is what totally struck me:
I just tested for my next belt (rank) in taekwondo on Friday night. The chief instructor at our school has a philosophy about testing that really makes sense.
He says that the purpose of the test is not to see if we know what we’re doing. They already decided that we know what we’re doing when they told us we could test for the next belt. RATHER, the purpose of the test is to SHOW OFF what we DO KNOW.
DUH. Why didn’t I think of that?? I DO know this. I know it cold. So does my sister. As she so aptly put it in her blog post last night, we are our own worst enemy. We both have a secret shy side we’ve tried SO hard to push down but it still sneaks out now and then. But, like Jo’s blog friend says, the purpose of all of this training and practice sessions is not to see if we know what we’re doing but to show off the skills we’ve been working so hard to master.
So, with my “instructor” badge, my super-cute Kick gear and this “show off” mentality, I am prepared to “Kick Some” in today’s run-through. And I promise to report back with how badass we both were. We got this. 😉