A jumble of emotion – love, joy, peace…anxious?

“Disconnect” complete.

I made it almost two days before returning to blog-land. It was totally worth it. I can’t even begin to describe the jumble of emotions I’m feeling tonight, after what was a pretty incredible, unforgettable, perfect weekend.

I feel…







(Yep, anxious. But more on this in a bit.)

First, the good stuff. This long weekend was DEFINITELY what the doctor ordered, in so many ways. Scott and I finally had an entire weekend that was all ours, to reconnect, to disconnect, and to enjoy just being together. I guess I didn’t really realize just how busy and crazy and jumbled our life had become in the past few weeks, but we really needed this more than I realized until, well, now, as I sit here writing this very blog post.

I actually really, REALLY miss him right now, too. After spending all this time together over the weekend, with him off at bowling and me doing my own thing (Kick and Power done back to back tonight, what a doozy), I have this weird sense of sadness. So funny, I’m so used to doing my own thing a few nights a week and a lot of the weekend while Scott’s at work or off bowling or whatever, that you’d think this would be no biggie (and it’s really not, to be honest), but tonight this feels different, it’s too quiet without him sitting here next to me on the couch! THIS is why I’m realizing we really needed the “us” time over the weekend. Wow. It just sorta hit me in the face just now.

So clearly, our “date night” was a blast. We managed to polish off that bottle of J. Vineyard rose champagne we’d saved up from our Sonoma trip and, um, a few glasses of some pretty damn good Stag’s Leap at dinner. Good thing we took a cab, huh? πŸ˜‰Β  So after a very successful date night, Sunday was the topper. We managed to do absolutely nothing – and when I say nothing, I really mean, NOTHING at all until last night. Didn’t even fit a workout in, imagine that?? It was pretty awesome, I’m not gonna lie, the nothing-ness and all. We did manage to whip up an impromptu dinner party that night with my sis, one of Scott’s friends and his wife and our wine-country-partner-in-crime Jess, too. It was a great night, loved that it was so spontaneous – typically not my style at ALL, for those of you who know me well. πŸ˜‰ I’m a big-time planner, duh.

Today, the last day of our mini-vacation was such fun. We ran outside for the first time since November – froze our butts but it was good to feel the fresh air in my lungs again! Oh, how I’ve missed it so! The rest of the day was pretty much a repeat of yesterday (um, a whole lotta nothing!) until Scott went off to bowling and I hit the gym.

Love, joy, peace. That pretty much sums up the weekend in a nutshell.

But the anxious piece? That’s related to (you guessed it) Kick. Our fitness director reminded us via email that we have just ONE month until the video assessments are due. And, even if we do pass and become certified, it’s pretty obvious there isn’t enough room in the schedule (at least as it stands now) for us each to get a class of our own. The ones that don’t get a class will probably be subs but still, who wants that after all the blood, sweat and tears we’ve put into this thing? Not me, that’s for sure. For me success equals getting my own class, seeing my name on the group fitness schedule. I know it’s irrational, that I’ve succeeded even if I don’t get my own class right away, but for me? I NEED this to feel like I met my goal. So yes, I’m feeling the pressure and I just WANT THIS so damn bad that I will do whatever I can in my power to make it happen. So if ya’ll thought I had Kick on the brain all the time already? Well, I’m kicking (no pun intended) it up a notch or two for the next four weeks, bound and determined to win this battle. I just really want it, really, really bad. Is that so much to ask afterall?


12 thoughts on “A jumble of emotion – love, joy, peace…anxious?

  1. Aww, it sounds like you had a wonderful weekend!

    I never had a Kick class on the schedule – there were 5 instructors and 3 classes on the weekly schedule (Kick wasn’t too big at the club). I got to sub occasionally, but sometimes I would just shadow on stage with the instructor. Still a lot of fun, but without the prep! Do the other instructors teach other programs? I had a Centergy, Ride and Power class so that’s why I didn’t get a Kick one. Maybe they will make more allowances for those who don’t already have a class yet.

    Whew…that was a long comment! πŸ˜‰

    • Ok, well that makes me feel a little bit better? I guess it wouldn’t be HORRIBLE if I ended up subbing/shadowing…but I still REALLY want my own!! LOL.
      PS. Wow – Centergy, Ride, Power AND Kick. Did you have time to sleep???

  2. So glad you had such a nice weekend with your man!! I get that same sad feeling at the end of a weekend with Andrew – it’s hard getting back to reality after spending so much happy time with him. Love, joy, peace… πŸ™‚

  3. I know how you feel. Jason and I actually had today off together which never ever happens. It’s fun, but then I’m sad when it’s over.

    Don’t stress about your kick certification! I have faith in you. It seems like you really want it!

  4. ahhh…the dreaded video! I did my pump one 3 times and ended up using the 1st!(i believe BTS and LM have the same video stuff since they were the same company a long time ago??) it is nerve-wracking but oh what an accomplishment after! Oh….and I took that certification knowing I wouldn’t have a class either and soon afterwards someone left! I hope it works out for you to get your name on that schedule!! you will do great because you want this so bad!

  5. So glad you had a great, reconnecting weekend. Those are the best aren’t they! I only managed to disconnect Sunday around 11am. Made a brief post, then didn’t turn the computer back on until Mon morning. I did feel overwhelmed at getting caught up though. Did you?

    I too realize how I spend so much of my time engaged in a million other activities. I have a hard time just sitting still because I’m thinking, thinking, thinking. Planning out my workouts, meals, new recipes, etc. Even down to which errands to run and which place to stop first.

    • I know, there really is something to be said for disconnecting and reconnecting, though I’ve been VERY bad at the disconnecting part lately too. To your point, I have a hard time “shutting down” – my brain is ALWAYS working in overtime, much like yours!

  6. I’m glad that you enjoyed the weekend with Scott! Ahh, doesn’t it feel so good to disconnect sometimes?

    Okay, if we (you, and me) were competing for a class, you would totally get it! It sounds like you’re going full speed ahead, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you get a class. πŸ™‚

    • Aww, ha thank you Laura. I hope my competitive nature comes out because it does, in fact, exist, I just end up feeling intimidated sometimes when my fitness director is in the room, and it needs to stop!!

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