Ok, I’m feeling a little punchy this morning, hence the goofy title to today’s blog. Bear with me. 😉
But, the title of today’s blog does really put into words what I’ve continued to feel the past few weeks (as witnessed by my series of blog posts on change, thinking differently, etc.). The status quo? I want it to be gone, gone at least from my life, as much as possible.
Why? Because it’s so easy (scarily easy) for me to revert back to status quo when things get tough, challenging, scary or uncomfortable. This struck me in the face (and hard!) on my way home yesterday afternoon after a short Kick practice with one of my fellow Kick mates. She was SUPREMELY helpful to me as I wade my way through the cuing waters, which for me, has been the final phase of this Kick journey. We worked a lot on the timing of my cues (vs. tonality or sound quality – both of which she reaffirmed to me would come with time, it’s not really something you can learn, only by doing do you figure it out one day – reminds me, where’s my “ah ha” moment for that, seems to be missing still!). She was great at helping me figure out when I need to be pre-cuing for the next move, or sets of moves. I learned that I’m about a beat off from where I should be when it comes to the pre-cue (I should be about 4 seconds ahead of the next move, and I’m at about 3 seconds, just enough to throw some people off in class).
While the hour we worked together on it won’t “fix” the pre-cue/timing issue overnight, it definitely helped. A lot. At the end, we were chatting about the next few weeks and the start of the taping of our video assessments. I think “Kimmie” is going to start taping them on Sundays for the next few weeks. I know who the first three to be taped will be, just by watching them progress. I know it’s not me. Part of me wishes I was in that first round of tapings just because I’m so darn competitive and sooo hate not being good at something right off the bat! But part of me knows, that with a few more weeks of practice and teaching under my belt, I will be much more prepared to rock that assessment video.
On the ride home, though, I started to get nervous about the video assessment again. I started to revert to that shy mini-me (she still won’t go away, what a pest!) and got all nervous and butterfly-like in the tummy. But WHY? Why did I automatically go “there” – to the status quo “place” I’m trying so hard to get away from? Because it’s easier than facing the challenge ahead with excitement and an eagerness to do battle. I know it’s in me and I know when my time comes to tape, I will be ready. If not for any other reason that I do NOT want to have to re-tape my video and I definitely do NOT want to fail the assessment overall.
So, there you have it. More thinking. More assessing. More battling my inner demons to squash the status quo for good. I’m so determined to win this battle, but I know I need to stop getting in my own way. I don’t want to be nervous and stressed about this challenge, I want to be excited, exhilarated, energized by it all.
Come to think of it – that’s gonna be my mantra this week: excited, exhilarated, energized. Maybe if I keep those thoughts running through my mind during the day, while working out, while at Kick and Kick practice, even in my sleep, I’ll start to embody it more and um, maybe start to really enjoy this experience again??