Reason #4,576 why I hate going to the doctor

They weigh you.

Yes, I was weighed today.

For the first time in a year.

Have I mentioned how much I hate the scale?

For me, I end up fixating on a number. A number which is arbitrary to begin with (in my opinion). A number that doesn’t tell the full story of how healthy or fit (or not) you may be.

And I swore this time, I would not fixate. I would not care what the number said on the scale today.

But secretly? I was hoping for a “good” number, better than last year’s (which was darn good given it showed a 10 lb loss from the year prior to that), even.

But no, the number was awful. Not what I expected at all. And yes, I totally beat myself up for it the minute it registered on the scale. And am *still* beating myself up for it as I write this very blog post.

Why? Why must we torture ourselves, ladies?? Especially for me – someone who firmly believes (despite what my beaten-up brain is fighting me on) that the number on the scale should not matter. It’s how you feel when you step off that treadmill, or throw your towel down after an amazing kickboxing class, weight-training class or Cathe DVD.

Yet here I am, spending half my day distracted by that NUMBER. I’m quite honestly embarrassed at myself for falling so easily for it, too. And for not getting over it yet, hours and hours after my appointment ended.

Oddly enough, I’m still harping on this after receiving (graciously!) a compliment from a friend earlier today who mentioned that I looked great, must’ve lost a bunch of weight, blah blah blah. To which I relayed this very story to her. She scoffed, saying not to worry about it, that I looked great and must be building muscle for the scale to register the way it did.

Received a similar response from my sister and from Scott, too. Scott asked me this:

Scott: How did you feel this morning when you woke up?

Me: Great.

Scott: There’s your answer. Who cares what the scale said.

And he’s right, my sis is right, my friend is right. But WHY does it bother me so much still???

I think because I’ve been working so hard in the past 6 months or so that I just assumed the “number” would be a nice finishing touch, NOT that I needed it for my hard work to be validated. At least, I didn’t think I needed that. Apparently, I did.

Well, it’s time to fully accept the fact that the number on the scale is just that: a number. It’s done and over with and it does not, and should not matter.

There.

Done.

I’m moving on. (ok, so it’s not quite so easy as it sounds, can I have until the end of the day to get over it, please??).

And PS. I’m totally looking into having my metabolism tested (similar to what Naomi did recently) to see exactly what my resting metabolic rate is so I can figure out if I’m eating the right amounts of foods for the high level of activity I do week-to-week. Part of me wonders if that number today was a sign that my problem is not that I’m “fat” but that my body is fighting to hold onto the pounds because I’m burning more calories and not eating enough to make up for the deficit. Something to think about…

Advertisements

17 thoughts on “Reason #4,576 why I hate going to the doctor

  1. I think it’s safe to say we all hate going to the doctor for that same reason. I think it’s interesting to realize just how wrapped up in that number on the scale that everyone is. I just tell myself the scale is lying. I will weight myself in the morning before the doctor and I will gain 5 pounds between my house and the doctor, so obviously the doctor’s scale is wrong. My mom always told me, “don’t worry about the number, just as long as your clothes fit, you’re fine.” She’s right. My number has gone up and down in the past couple years but I still wear the same pants I wore my freshman year of college (4 years ago) so I’m over it.

    I am currently doing a blog ( http://infatuatedwithimperfection.wordpress.com ) to discuss the pressures of media on body image. Feel free to visit and leave your thoughts!

    • It’s true, you’re right and of course I have always felt the same way about the scale (and just feeling good in my own skin, my clothes fit, etc.) which is partly why I was so annoyed with myself today. DUH! I know better!!

      I’m totally checking out your blog next, love it!

  2. That stupid number is why I don’t own a scale either. I would fixate on that daily, possibly multiple times a day. Numbers are also why I won’t count calories. It’s bad enough that I obsess with my HR monitor and the calories burned. I totally feel ya on this. I think most women will. I’d tell you to stop beating yourself up, but I know better. You know in your heart that it’s just a number.

    I think it’s very possible that your eating is off from your calorie burn. I never realized how much nutrition played in fitness. I always just thought calories in and calories out. It’s so much more. It’s properly fueling and then re-fueling your body. It’s a machine you must take care of. Anyway, I know you know this so I’ll stop now. HUGS!

    • Aww thanks Heather. You always know exactly how I’m feeling and/or how I’m gonna react about something. SO alike we are!!

      Re: nutrition – yes, I’m definitely going to look into it. By my estimation I’m burning between 3,000-5,000 calories a week (5,000 was an all-time high week, it’s rarely THAT high) so I can’t imagine I’m eating enough some weeks to keep up?? Though, I struggle with – well if I don’t FEEL overly hungry, I must be ok?? I don’t know, it feels so counterintuitive, you know?

  3. Yes, sister, you need to not fixate on a number, as hard as that sounds…seriously why I purposely tell the doctor NOT to tell what it says and I look away, because I will fixate. I think we both need that test, and we both need to make sure we’re eating enough and the right stuff. Let’s do it – and um, you look fabulous, fit, and hot 😉

  4. Ugh, I’ve actually thought about asking them not to weigh me (or turning around) – but I’m afraid they’ll think that’s weird. 😦 I’ve heard of people doing that, though, and it sounds like a good idea to me!

    It’s hard when our head and heart are telling us two different things. We see that number and it’s so finite that we think it’s telling us everything about our bodies. But really, there are SO many factors that go into weight. I don’t know about you, but from morning to night my weight (I’m assuming b/c of water) can fluctuate up to 5 pounds. Of course there’s muscle, what time of day, what clothes you’re wearing, etc. But I know you know all of that. 🙂 It’s good you realize that it IS just a number, and it doesn’t define you. Like you said, you obviously look amazing if you are getting compliments…right?! Plus, think about how much of a Kick rockstar you are!

    That is an interesting thought about the metabolism thing, too. I can’t wait to hear how you are getting it tested!

  5. I always tell the nurses I don’t want to know my weight. So far no one’s looked at me strange or anything. Most of them are aware that weight is a sensitive thing for most females, so they most likely won’t question you.

    I have the same issues as you with beating myself up over numbers I don’t like. But the best thing for me has been to stop weighing myself and focusing on how I FEEL. You are so much more than a number.

    Hugs!!

  6. I am dreading my next doctor’s appointment for this very reason. I haven’t weighed myself since January 1st (I asked my husband to hide the scale!). While I know I’ve put on a few pounds, I’m trying not to freak out about it, especially since I don’t have evidence!

    It’s absolutely nuts how we let something SO unimportant get to us. I’ve been cranky the past few days b/c I have been “feeling fat”. It’s ridiculous! Thank you for the kick in the pants!

  7. I am the same way when I get weighed in at the doctor, but Scott is so right – it shouldn’t change anything about your day!

    • Thanks for stopping by Kacy!! And for not thinking I’m crazy for getting upset about the stupid scale…I mean, we’re all a little nutty but a number is a number, nothing more, right?

  8. Pingback: Embracing your inner ‘Skinnygirl’ « EatDrinkBreatheSweat

  9. Pingback: The numbers game « EatDrinkBreatheSweat

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s