Frustrated Frannie here.
Got an update on Kick and my video assessment from my fitness director.
She *finally* reviewed my tape and think I ought to re-tape before sending it into BTS. <sigh> There are about a million things that frustrate me about this. In no particular order:
- I’ve been asking for her specific feedback on the tape/next step for weeks, probably a month or more even.
- Since that taping (which now seems like a lifetime ago), I’ve been working REALLY hard to improve the power of my moves and really embodying the badass Kick instructor I know I need to be to pass by BTS standards but also my gym’s standards.
- I am SO sick of the Oct ’09 release (which is what I trained on) and to even think about re-taping on that same release in two more weeks is soooo annoying. I am sick to death of the entire thing from doing it non-stop since, ohhh, December.
- I am NOT good at not being good at something. Not that I’m a know-it-all or think I’m hot-to-trot but honestly, it’s very hard for me to not be good at something that I LOVE. You all know how much I love this and yet here I am struggling with it. Why? (because it’s a challenge and challenges aren’t meant to be easy. See? At least I knew the answer to that one!)
None of this is news to you all, you know what my frustrations and challenges have been all along but yet, here I am, still frustrated. Still plugging along, working my butt off.
The thing is? I STILL really want this.
Despite all the frustration.
Despite the fact that I want to cry right now because I’m so sick of the rollercoaster (PMS *might* have something to do with that though, LOL).
Despite the fact that this feels like a step back.
Despite the fact that this feels sort of like failure.
As usual, I was venting to my sister who is in the same position as me in terms of re-taping and she, as always, had some good perspective.
We have to re-tape.
It’s for our own good.
It’ll help us reach OUR goals, not the gym’s goal or our fitness director’s goal, but OUR goals.
The gym members who take our class genuinely LIKE our style and enjoy coming to our classes.
We’re having fun with Kick (mostly) and are pushing our bodies and minds further than we ever have.
We are realizing our dreams (come hell or highwater!).
The point? That no matter what little setbacks we’ve faced, we’ve tackled them head-on. We’ve already overcome some pretty major obstacles (hello cueing??) so why not face and overcome one more? It hasn’t been pretty. I’ve had plenty of “moments where I’ve questioned if this was really worth it, and I still say “Hell, yes. ”
At the end of the day, I want to prove to myself that I can finish what I started. That I can pass the damn BTS video assessment and that I can gain our fitness director’s respect and committment needed to get my name on that group fitness class schedule at my gym (which I’d promptly frame…kidding…kinda).
Can I get a “Hell Yeah!?”
Disclaimer: This was my attempt to shake off “Frustrated Frannie” in favor of “Fierce Fiona” — not just to get over my annoyance at this latest turn of Kick events but to get my game face on for Kick practice tonight. So far, it’s working. 🙂