Frustrating…so there?

Frustrated Frannie here.

Got an update on Kick and my video assessment from my fitness director.

She *finally* reviewed my tape and think I ought to re-tape before sending it into BTS. <sigh> There are about a million things that frustrate me about this.  In no particular order:

  • I’ve been asking for her specific feedback on the tape/next step for weeks, probably a month or more even.
  • Since that taping (which now seems like a lifetime ago), I’ve been working REALLY hard to improve the power of my moves and really embodying the badass Kick instructor I know I need to be to pass by BTS standards but also my gym’s standards.
  • I am SO sick of the Oct ’09 release (which is what I trained on) and to even think about re-taping on that same release in two more weeks is soooo annoying. I am sick to death of the entire thing from doing it non-stop since, ohhh, December.
  • I am NOT good at not being good at something. Not that I’m a know-it-all or think I’m hot-to-trot but honestly, it’s very hard for me to not be good at something that I LOVE. You all know how much I love this and yet here I am struggling with it. Why? (because it’s a challenge and challenges aren’t meant to be easy. See? At least I knew the answer to that one!)

None of this is news to you all, you know what my frustrations and challenges have been all along but yet, here I am, still frustrated. Still plugging along, working my butt off.

The thing is? I STILL really want this.

Despite all the frustration.

Despite the fact that I want to cry right now because I’m so sick of the rollercoaster (PMS *might* have something to do with that though, LOL).

Despite the fact that this feels like a step back.

Despite the fact that this feels sort of like failure.

As  usual, I was venting to my sister who is in the same position as me in terms of re-taping and she, as always, had some good perspective.

So what.

We have to re-tape.

It’s for our own good.

It’ll help us reach OUR goals, not the gym’s goal or our fitness director’s goal, but OUR goals.

The gym members who take our class genuinely LIKE our style and enjoy coming to our classes.

SO THERE.

We’re having fun with Kick (mostly) and are pushing our bodies and minds further than we ever have.

SO THERE.

We are realizing our dreams (come hell or highwater!).

SO THERE.

The point? That no matter what little setbacks we’ve faced, we’ve tackled them head-on. We’ve already overcome some pretty major obstacles (hello cueing??) so why not face and overcome one more? It hasn’t been pretty. I’ve had plenty of “moments where I’ve questioned if this was really worth it, and I still say “Hell,  yes. ”

At the end of the day, I want to prove to myself that I can finish what I started. That I can pass the damn BTS video assessment and that I can gain our fitness director’s respect and committment needed to get my name on that group fitness class schedule at my gym (which I’d promptly frame…kidding…kinda).

Can I get a “Hell Yeah!?”

Disclaimer: This was my attempt to shake off “Frustrated Frannie” in favor of “Fierce Fiona” — not just to get over my annoyance at this latest turn of Kick events but to get my game face on for Kick practice tonight. So far, it’s working. 🙂

21 thoughts on “Frustrating…so there?

  1. Here’s my take: yes, totally freaking sucks to have to re-tape. BUT you have been working your butt off to improve. You’ve been totally focusing on Kick so imagine how much better that re-tape is going to be. Big girl panty time!

  2. YES – well put – and helps me get out my own frustration, through you. We’ll get through this – we just can’t compare ourselves to anyone else and we’re in it to win it (ha wrote WINE at first – Freudian slip!?) and PROVE we can KICK SOME!!

  3. Heck yeah!!!!!!!!!!!

    You are going to do this and learn and grow tremendously along the way. The end result matters, but enjoying the process and reveling in your strength and how far you’ve come do as well 🙂

    • Thanks Tina, for the “shout” of confidence! I need to remember ALL of this next time I get frustrated and let it get dash my confidence that I can and will do this. You’re the best 🙂

  4. Hey, you’ve heard the expression, “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”, right?!? Instead of looking at it as a failure or “mistake” of sorts, look at it as an opportunity to do better…that’s what Eric tells me any time I feel not-so-good about not-doing-so-well.

    • Ah, I knew there was a reason I liked Eric 😉 Very wise advice from both of you – I hadn’t really looked at it that way. Not failure, but an opp to do better. I like that!

  5. I agree with Heather, for sure – you’ve been practicing your booty off, so this could definitely be a good thing!

    I can only imagine how frustrating this is for you. But you have come SO far, in not that long of time! Some people take years to become instructors…you’ve gone through this so fast, and you’ve handled it like the rock star you are! Keep focusing on the end prize – your own class, which you WILL have. Because you are awesome!

  6. Oh hun, I know this is frustrating, but I know you are learning so much along the way about yourself and becoming stronger. You will show everyone what you’re made of – you will reach your goals!!!!!!!! 🙂

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