Ok, I think I’ve figured out what’s been getting to me, of late. I need to get back to basics. In all aspects of my life. (and bear with me here, parts of this blog are similar to my thoughts in the past two weeks – I am finding that “blogging it out” is the only way to get my thoughts straight sometimes…)
For instance – I’ve let Kick spin out of control a bit and it’s become more a root of frustration and stress than what it should be: a passion fulfilled. I’ve mentioned this before and I’m mentioning it again as I started to fall back into the “Kick is so frustrating because…” mantra.
My workouts, as a result, have been less invigorating and fulfilling (aside from my amaaaaaazing run on Saturday) which is just sad, really. I LOVE to workout. You all know this. I know this. It’s what I love. It’s the one thing I do just for me, yet here I am muddying the waters by making it a stressful thing (um hello HR monitor freak-out the other day??).
Aside from working out, I need to get back to basics at work and at home. I find myself so wound up at work that I end up being entirely ineffective and uninspired. I’m such a Type-A-er but lately I’ve found I’m not necessarily doing my best work and I think its due to stress and making everything bigger than it needs to be.
At home? I’m so scheduled and regimented. Which works in many, many ways, but in other ways I just need to relax, breathe and let go of routine more often. This is one area I think I’ve done a better job of getting back to basics, especially now that Scott has been around more often. It’ll be far easier for me to break habit for “fun” things like a random picnic on a Saturday afternoon vs. whizzing through my afternoon list of chores, errands and cleaning. Life is too short to zig and never zag.
In doing this little audit of my life, of late, its made me realize that one of the bigger sources of anxiety, stress and frustration has, sadly, been workout and body image related. I admittedly think I may have swung too far in terms of my commitment to working out everyday (sometimes twice a day) and have gotten so focused on the “wow” factor of skipping a rest day for weeks at a time or seeing just how many calories I can burn in one workout or one day or one week, thanks to the Workout Manager I’m obsessed with.
I’m saying all this not because I think I have a problem – because I don’t think that I do. I am saying this mostly as a reminder to myself that sometimes simple is better. As Heather said the other day, its ok to “lighten up” and stop trying so hard to be perfect all the time. It’s definitely something that does not come easily to me – I like to be great at everything and I like to be great at it immediately (this is really why Kick has been so frustrating for me – I haven’t been great at it immediately which just doesn’t sit well with me).
I don’t have the answer or some big resolution to lay out here in terms of how I’m going to get back to basics. But, one thing I do promise is this – I will get back to loving my workouts for what they are – for keeping me strong, fit, healthy, happy and energized and NOT for how many calories I burned, or how many workouts I fit into a day or a week, It’ll come, with time, and patience (my patience pants are hiding in the back of my closet, clearly).
Wow, I am SO rambly today, and I apologize in advance for that. I sort of just started blogging what I was thinking and very clearly my head is all over the place today. Don’t mind me…;)