What I’ve learned about myself…

…throughout this Kick journey (so far) – this has been on my mind a lot this week. Mostly because it feels like I’m in a transition period with Kick (which is fine, and I’m NOT upset about that aspect as much as I was before, I’m at peace with the near-term changes). So, I figured now was a good time to start documenting what I’ve learned about myself when I dove in, head-first this past December.

I’ve learned that…

• I am NOT good at not being good at something – especially something that I LOVE as much as fitness. I mean, yes, nobody is perfect right out of the gate, but I definitely went into this with the preconceived notion that I would rock the house immediately. Um, no. Most certainly NOT the case as you’ve witnessed time and again as I’ve aired my frustrations on this blog. Kick takeaway #1: It’s ok to have a learning curve. And, it’s ok not to be perfect.
• My long-hidden shy side is not *quite* as hidden as I’d like to think it is. It has certainly gotten in my way a lot more than I’d like to admit it has. BUT – what I’m most proud of related to this? Cuing is not my biggest fear/challenge anymore, oddly enough – my biggest struggle now seems to be getting out of my head and just having FUN while teaching. Duh, sounds so darn easy, doesn’t it? But not when Overthinking Ollie comes out to play (which leads me to my next point). Kick takeaway #2: I’m still shy, at times, but I’m learning to overcome it. Huge win!
• I’m stronger than I, perhaps, give myself credit for sometimes. And not just physically, but mentally too. This has been probably my biggest challenge to date – and a totally self-imposed challenge at that. It’s been draining. It’s been overwhelming. It’s been scary. It’s been amazing. It’s been incredibly tough, cardio-wise. But – I’m strong, stronger for it, too. And that, is something I’m very, very proud of – especially since it’s trickled over into other areas of my life. I can run farther (due to better endurance), I can lift heavier because I push myself more than before. I’m more confident (seems contradictory to my prior point about shyness, I know). Kick takeaway #3: Self-imposed challenges can sometimes be the best, most rewarding challenges of all.

So, all told, even though I am not yet have passed my Kick certification (tick tock, I’m still waiting on the final word) and I don’t yet have a class of my own on the group fitness schedule at my gym, but I’m still in it to win it. Even if it’s not on my timetable. It’s very hard for me to let go of control (my husband can definitely attest to this!) and leave it in God’s hands but I realize that that’s exactly what I need to do.

So, I’m letting go. I’m still gonna Kick it wicked haahhd <insert Boston accent here> and see where it takes me.