On the importance of shared interests

As I sit here thinking over the fact that tomorrow is my 6-year wedding anniversary, I started to mull over what exactly makes Scott and I work so well. Aside from simply being so much fun to be around, a total goofball and such an upbeat and super-cute guy, Scott and I have a lot of shared interests which I think is very important. BUT – we also have our own interests and maintain a sense of independence and individuality, too. In other words, we haven’t just melded into one being over the years, either.

Among our shared interests is a commitment to staying fit and healthy — something I don’t think either of us even realized was so important to us until well after we were married, actually. I mean, we were both pretty fit when we got married but it wasn’t until about six months or so in, after the “honeymoon” phase had started to fade a little bit that we both realized we never wanted to become “that” couple that let themselves go, getting too comfortable in their relationship. And I don’t want you to get the wrong idea – we aren’t vain people, we’re just realistic, at least I think we are. We’ve seen plenty of relationships fizzle or get stale because, while the love might’ve still been there, the commitment to keeping that passion and fire alive was amiss. And oftentimes that was due to the comfort-factor, the letting-yourself-go factor. I remember so distinctly saying to Scott one day when we were living in our first townhouse that I never, ever, wanted to look back at our first few years together and say “wow, I wish I still fit into those jeans…”

I firmly believe that PART of the reason we work so well is that one of our shared interests (aside from wine, entertaining family and friends, lounging by the lake, making PIZZA, and lots of other things) keeps us active, energized, healthy and happy – with eachother and with ourselves. It has served us well over the years so far, and as the saying goes – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. πŸ˜‰

Speaking of shared interests, I totally believe the same holds true for friendships – and that friendships evolve over the years for many reasons but one of them tends to be the shared interest factor. I’ve found, especially recently, that some of my more recent friendships have blossomed around the same shared fitness passion which has been super fun – and I’m not just talking about my IRL friends but my blog friends too (you certainly know who you are!) – and I just love that. That’s not to say that some of my closest friends have to have the EXACT same passions as mine, (because that would just get boring after awhile huh?), some of my closest friends are in the same life stage as me which has brought us closer while others are close because of a shared history (um, hello elementary school, high school, college!). I guess this is a long way of saying that shared interests are important to relationships, but it’s obviously not the only thing that makes us each tick.

So – what do you think? Do you think shared interests in relationships (romantic or otherwise) are important?

And, on that note, I’m off to tackle this day – lots to do at work, lots to do at home in advance of the big anniversary tomorrow. Top of that list? Figuring out where to go for dinner tomorrow night. Hmm. πŸ˜‰

11 thoughts on “On the importance of shared interests

  1. Andrew and I have a lot of common interests, but we also are very opposite in ways and I think it brings a perfect balance to our relationship. He’s very outgoing and wants to be social and I prefer being at home and staying in for a movie night. So we make compromises a lot and it works out great.

    I think it’s great that you both are on the same page as far as healthy eating and workouts. I think I’ve been a good influence on Andrew, but I do wish he’d jump all the way on the healthy train with me.

    • I totally think its great that you have that balance – Scott is UBER optimistic all the time and I have a hard time getting out of my own way with that sometimes, so he shakes it outta me. I’m glad you have that with Andrew – balance is good!! Maybe you should try getting Andrew to spin with you – I swear that’s why Scott is re-amped up about working out, he LOVES that class for some reason, ha!

  2. I do think that shared interests are very important. I also think that it’s often about balancing each other out too. For example: I’m super Type A, a worrier, always moving, planning, thinking; Jason is relaxed (but still motivated mind you), easy going, go with the flow. If we were both the same way, it’d likely be a disaster! We’d either be so stressed we couldn’t see straight or so relaxed we never left the couch LOL.

    I know that my friendships have most definitely changed over the years based on interests too. And, like you, that even means new friends like you. πŸ˜‰

  3. Reason #689 why I adore you guys…love this, and so true. Can you please rub that off on me whenever I meet the man of my dreams? Please? πŸ˜‰ XO, you guys are the best, love you!

  4. My bf & I have quite a few shared interests, and that helps keep the friendship as well as the romantic relationship going. We both love older music better than today’s music. Also important is shared values & respect. Can’t stress that enough. I had a friendship fall apart because the mutual respect wasn’t there, & if I ever marry anyone, things like faith in God, commitment, & respect are values I can’t compromise on. Mr. Perfect is more into fitness than I am (read: obsessed), but we definitely do that together and share that regularly.

  5. I think what makes Keith and I work so well is that we balance each other out. I tend to be very planned and type A and Keith is very spontaneous and out going. I am teaching him the importance of planning and he is teaching me the importance of less structure. 4 years later…I think we have both learned very valuable lessons about ourselves and both would agree that we are much more well rounded for being married to one another.

    • Ok, you and Keith sound like me/Scott and Heather/Jason – we’re all cut from the same cloth apparently! No wonder we all get along so well up in here πŸ˜‰

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