A word (or two) on ‘love from others’

As you all know, I’ve been closely following the 30 days of self-love movement over at Faith, Fitness and Fun and a post Tina wrote over the weekend totally struck a chord with me.

It was about ‘love from others’ – in short, looking at yourself for what others see you for, and realizing your worth if not for what you love about yourself, but for the love that others see and feel for you. Basically – we need to see ourselves through the loving eyes of those around us who love us deeply.

Well, I sat back to really think about that. And she’s so right. If I look at myself the way my husband looks at me, my confidence and my self-esteem soars. He sees me as a beautiful, strong, confident, hard-working, loving and dedicated wife. So many wonderful things about those qualities, right? And,  if I look at myself how my best friends see me, it puts a smile on my face, too. They know me to be a fiercely loyal, totally goofy, and totally loving best friend (at least I think they do!).  That perspective alone is enough to make anyone feel happier and more content being who they are and embracing it fuly.

But also – Tina’s post got me thinking about how much I strive to show others my love and affection in so many ways and the impact that has on them, but also on me.

Everyday I strive to be…

…the best friend a girl could ask for.

…the best wife a husband could ever dream of having.

…the best sister either of my sisters could ever imagine.

…the perfect (as near to it as we can be) daughter and grandaughter my parents and my grandparents could hope for.

And while I try my best to be that “best” or “perfect” that those I love could ever hope/dream/ask for, I realize that I sometimes fall down on the job. If I give all of myself to my friends and family (blogger family included!) at a certain moment in time (when they need me most, or I perceive that they need me most), than invariably, someone else I love will get a little ‘less’ of me that day. And, while I realize that’s ok, and I don’t need to be perfect all the time, it’s hard for me to swallow (type A much?). I realize that when I spread myself so thin – to be the ‘best’ to all of those in my life that I love so dearly – I sometimes become a watered down version of myself which isn’t good either.

So – in a roundabout way, what Tina’s post reminded me of this weekend is that I don’t have to be perfect. It’s ok to give, give, give but also to receive too. And that is, by no means, selfish. It makes me human. We all need that give and take. And sometimes, I forget that I need it too, despite how ‘perfect’ I strive to be all the time.

Of course, Tina also reminded me that I am beautiful in my own unique way, in the eyes of those that love me especially, and that is something I am very grateful for on this gorgeous labor day weekend. This 30 days of self-love challenge, is, well – a challenge – but an experience I’ve needed for quite some time so I’m eternally grateful that she started this movement!

*******

In other bloggy news – I’ll have a recap tomorrow-ish from my blogger brunch meet-up with Alicia at Poise In Parma and Elina at Healthy and Sane today in Boston. Alicia was here over the weekend visiting some family so we took the opportunity to orchestrate a little meet-up which ended up being a total blast!! I promise to blog about it here this week, just waiting on Alicia to email me a pic to include with my post. (of course me not being a foodie blogger, I forgot my camera!).

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11 thoughts on “A word (or two) on ‘love from others’

  1. I totally feel the same way. If only I could see myself through Andrew’s eyes, I think I’d see that I do not have to be perfect. He loves my imperfections – unconditionally. Same with my family and friends. I often forget that they do not care what size I wear or if my hair looks perfect… they just like spending time with me and being with the ones I love IS perfect.

  2. Great post sis, especially about not being perfect all the time, being human and not being able to give your all to ALL all the time (is that enough all’s?!). Take your own advice and drink it up sis 🙂 XO!

  3. Love this post. Tina’s post just made my cry b/c I realized how I completely fail to take into consideration how those around me view me and ahem even love and appreciate me. I feel like I fail every single day b/c I cannot possibly be the perfect everything for everyone. Sometimes I don’t even know who the real Heather is b/c I spend so much time trying to be the Heather I think (key word) everyone expects. Type A??? Hell yes. So, once again (surprise surprise) I can totally relate.

    • Aww friend, you most certainly are an amazing person in every sense of the word and you should realize that you are loved more than you know. AND you are wonderful just as you are and most certainly not a failure in any way shape or form, mmk?? hugs!

  4. I love reading your posts in the morning (CET :)). It gives me quite a kick for the day. And this post is especially beautiful. You’re so right and it’s EXACTLY what I needed to hear today. I’ve lots and lots to do at work these days and my colleagues start telling me that I look tired. So I think it’s ok that I couldn’t make it for an early morning run today but stayed in bed instead to get an hour of extra sleep – so desperately needed.
    And yes, there are a couple of friends coming to our place tonight for dinner but they are absolutely fine with a not-too-perfect dinner. Because they want to see us and have a good time with us but they don’t expect to get a restaurant-like meal. Even with a simple dish they will love us the way we are!
    So, thanks again for the right post at the right time. *hugs*

  5. Pingback: FAITH, FITNESS, FUN » Blog Archive » 30 days of self love – perspective

  6. I love this post friend, and it’s so true. Sometimes we have to be a little selfish to avoid spreading ourselves so thin that we crack! I’ll remember to remind you of that from time to time…just like you remind me that friendship should not be hard work!

    Love you,
    J

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