Under pressure

Y’know that song, Under Pressure?

That’s exactly how I feel lately.

For a few reasons. And mostly by my own doing.

I put pressure on myself to give 110% in all that I do. I accept nothing less than perfection. It’s just who I am.

That includes everything from my career, my relationships, my fitness goals. You name it, I want to give my best. Always.

Not necessarily a bad thing, most of the time.

But I think that’s sort of why I’ve been struggling with the whole lack of routine thing coupled with the pressure of auntie duties, but I’m also struggling with uncovering my next fitness challenge.

The routine thing – well that’s obvious. I’m Type A through and through, I crave routine a lot of the time (though I’ve found that I can be more spontaneous and less “scheduled” or “planned” lately, too).  But not having as much control over my routine, my day-to-day life given auntie duties of late while my sister continues to recover at my house,  and I feel under pressure (again by my own doing) to do the best, give her the best, give the baby the best, and nothing less. Well – a week into things and I’m exhausted. I guess I need to be a little easier on myself, huh?

The fitness challenge thing? It’s both good and bad. Good in that I truly do love to explore my limits, redefining them whenever possible. That’s why even though the whole Kick experience was really stressful and frustrating sometimes, it truly got me out of my comfort zone…and gave me a killer workout, too. 😉 The half marathon – well I already admitted that that was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, EVER.

I guess the “bad” in all of this (if you can call it bad) is that I think I’m pressuring myself to find that “next” challenge versus just letting it come to me. For instance – when it turned out I wouldn’t be teaching Kick regularly at my gym? Ta-da, enter half marathon training which left me little time to focus on much else, fitness-wise. So I guess I need to be patient, letting whatever challenge is around the corner to round that bend for me (vs. me seeking it out).

And I probably need to stop overthinking things a little bit more, too. I mean, really, right, obsess much? I guess that’s whatcha get when you spend have the day in the doctor’s office keeping your niece occupied while your sister attended doctor’s appointments. What? My mind wanders, I can’t help it. 😉