Under pressure

Y’know that song, Under Pressure?

That’s exactly how I feel lately.

For a few reasons. And mostly by my own doing.

I put pressure on myself to give 110% in all that I do. I accept nothing less than perfection. It’s just who I am.

That includes everything from my career, my relationships, my fitness goals. You name it, I want to give my best. Always.

Not necessarily a bad thing, most of the time.

But I think that’s sort of why I’ve been struggling with the whole lack of routine thing coupled with the pressure of auntie duties, but I’m also struggling with uncovering my next fitness challenge.

The routine thing – well that’s obvious. I’m Type A through and through, I crave routine a lot of the time (though I’ve found that I can be more spontaneous and less “scheduled” or “planned” lately, too).Β  But not having as much control over my routine, my day-to-day life given auntie duties of late while my sister continues to recover at my house,Β  and I feel under pressure (again by my own doing) to do the best, give her the best, give the baby the best, and nothing less. Well – a week into things and I’m exhausted. I guess I need to be a little easier on myself, huh?

The fitness challenge thing? It’s both good and bad. Good in that I truly do love to explore my limits, redefining them whenever possible. That’s why even though the whole Kick experience was really stressful and frustrating sometimes, it truly got me out of my comfort zone…and gave me a killer workout, too. πŸ˜‰ The half marathon – well I already admitted that that was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, EVER.

I guess the “bad” in all of this (if you can call it bad) is that I think I’m pressuring myself to find that “next” challenge versus just letting it come to me. For instance – when it turned out I wouldn’t be teaching Kick regularly at my gym? Ta-da, enter half marathon training which left me little time to focus on much else, fitness-wise. So I guess I need to be patient, letting whatever challenge is around the corner to round that bend for me (vs. me seeking it out).

And I probably need to stop overthinking things a little bit more, too. I mean, really, right, obsess much? I guess that’s whatcha get when you spend have the day in the doctor’s office keeping your niece occupied while your sister attended doctor’s appointments. What? My mind wanders, I can’t help it. πŸ˜‰


13 thoughts on “Under pressure

  1. With everything else, the last thing you need to feel pressure about is having to have a challenge. I think keeping up with routine, doing STS again, that’s challenge enough in my book. Maybe your challenge should be no challenge? But I hear you on the pressure. Just read something about perfectionists and how it can really end up being a bad thing – always striving for the gold, to please everyone, to be the best, etc. Right now I’m on the cusp of overdoing being perfect and it’s a sinking feeling, frustrating, maddening actually. So try to ease up a bit (yes, pot/kettle I know).

    • AH, I knew you’d TOTALLY relate to how I’m feeling!! I know I’ve veered too far onto the perfectionist ledge here and there and have honestly been trying to be LESS type-A as you might have noticed based on some of my “loving” comments to you, lately. Ha. But seriously, you’re right – it goes back to the balance thing that we both love (again, pot/kettle) but also teeter-totter on the edge of inbalance sometimes, too.

      I STILL want a new challenge aside from STS and stuff, but I am putting my patience pants on, figuring something neat will come along soon enough πŸ™‚

  2. I wish I had sisters like this! Holding my baby while I went to the doctor’s office! Taking turns watching the baby as your sister recovers. You don’t know how lucky you are to have each other. I never had that growing-up, not even when a had a turn of Postpartum Depression after my first son was born. That was NOT fun to go through alone.

    As far as a fitness challenge goes, I’ve got ideas com’in out “my giggy” for that! If you want a challenge, I can bring the ideas “Big Time”. Let me know if you would like any suggestions.

    • Lisa – you are so right. We ARE so lucky to have eachother – this has really tested our relationship in a big way and I’m so proud that we’ve passed with flying colors, despite the lack of sleep ‘n stuff πŸ˜‰

  3. I agree with Heather, maybe this isn’t the time to have a new challenge. The challenge could be again to have no challenge. You’ve a lot on your plate at the moment with your sister not being well. Maybe you just need some time to chill and relax. Though if you’re like myself, it’s easier said than done.

  4. I didn’t even realize I was on the same wavelength as you when I wrote my last post. LOL

    I think if you want a fitness goal and it can fit into your schedule now without stressing you then there is no reason not to find something to go for. But don’t do it simply for the sake of it, if that makes sense? Or pick something more flexible…like working towards pull-ups or something?

    • I know, you’re right. I have the tendency to bite off more than I can chew!! I do have some mini-goals in mind – like being able to hold a plank for a lot longer than I can right now, being able to do “real’ push-ups with ease, stuff like that. I guess I just like having a “big” goal to look forward to working around/towards/planning for – a lot like what Lee said in her comment, below. But I think for now, mini-goals are the way to go and I’m SURE something big is around the bend, I just need to be patient and enjoy where I am right now.

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