Trusting my gut (or trying to)

So, it’s time I started at least trying to trust my gut a little bit more.

I mean, instinct is not something that leads you astray, am I right?

Now, *what* could I possibly be referring to, you ask?

None other than the knee issue I’ve only partially admitted to up until now.

After dutifully avoiding running all week this past week in favor of spinning, ellipitcal-ing and anything else low-impact I could think of (which isn’t much, I soon realized), I gave running a shot this morning.

Which would be fine, considering I gave it a rest this week and all, right?

Welllll, notsomuch.

And, I’m most frustrated with myself for not listening to my gut instinct – I woke up knowing that my knee still wasn’t quite right. It had ached during the night a bit and, in fact, my other knee was starting to bug me, too. The patella strap I purchased last week was definitely helping, yes. But it can’t mask an injury, it can only aid in recovery.

But alas, I figured armed with my patella strap, my running tights (Under Armor – totally did the trick on a blustery, chilly fall morning, btw), my trusty heart rate monitor, and Scott by my side, that this morning’s run would be just great. I even told myself that I’d try for 4 or 5 but if I was feeling really good maybe I’d go for the 6-7 mile loop instead.

Wow, talk about delusional. I was TOTALLY ignoring my gut that was telling me “um hello, your right knee still hurts and now your left knee is bugging you, what are you doing trying to run on that???”

As you can imagine, after a couple of miles, my knees won the battle and instinct finally kicked in. We turned around after less than 4 miles. And it was the right decision. Not quite as “right” as if I’d admitted right out of the gate that a run was not the best move today, but still – at least the instinct took over eventually, right??

So long story short – this is me beating myself up for not listening when I knew what the right thing to do was, deep-down. I have to give my knees a rest – and a week of rest just isn’t enough. So I’m giving myself another week of cross-training only, no running, at all.

And this time, if after the week is over, my knees are telling me “no,” I’m going to listen, like a good girl. I pinky swear.

But I’m not gonna like it. Just sayin’.

Hmph *arms crossed*

In other news, I’m still totally digging #TheLittleThings. It’s forced me to have perspective, which I’m constantly struggling with…and it’s forced me to remember and embrace my mantra about balance…I think that’s why the whole instinct thing today really bugged me. I was veering away from balance in favor of getting back to running. Yes, I love, love, love to run, but will it kill me to give it a rest until I heal? No. Not in the slightest.

So – what am I thankful for today?  A couple of things.

1 – That my sister is healthy and home safe and sound with Isabel. And that we were instrumental in getting her there, both mentally and physically. I am so proud of her and so thankful that we could be there when she needed it most.

2 – That it’s been an amazing weekend spent with some great friends. Pizza Friday was a total hit, for one. And – we just got home from hanging with some of my favorite Kick friends, watching football, of course. All in all, life is pretty damn good – and I shouldn’t complain, not at all.