So, I promised you I’d return to the “Sometimes I wonder” blog I posted the other day. But, after re-reading it today, I realized that many of the things I was “wondering” about, I sort of already addressed in follow-on blog posts on balance, body image and all that jazz.
But what I didn’t return to was this:
Sometimes I wonder……if marriage should be hard work to maintain (they should – more on this later).
So here’s the deal.
Scott and I have a great marriage.
But it’s work. A LOT of work.
And I seriously mean that in the best way possible.
Marriage isn’t easy. But then again, as Teddy Roosevelt so famously said:
“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led diffcult lives and led them well.”
And that’s the mantra we try to live by.
As I’ve mentioned here on this blog before, we’ve had our stumbles along the way, but it was those stumbles that brought us to where we are today. With the realization that we need to constantly work on our relationship to keep that spark alive as it will fade with time if not constantly fed “fuel” (pardon the lame analogy!).
That’s one of the big reasons why working out together is so important to us. It’s unique “us” time versus the traditional date nights out or date nights in and the quick little getaways to Boston (like we did this weekend!). The time we spend working out, we have some of our best conversations. It’s why I LOVE having him as my running buddy – because we have that time to talk, dream, let our thoughts wander and intertwine with one another’s.
I can honestly say, without a shadow of a doubt that he is the one and only for me. Forever. I know some don’t subscribe to the mindset that there is just one person out there to make their heart whole (and honestly, I don’t disagree with those that feel this way, to each his/her own), but Scott is it for me. He’s my best friend, my biggest fan, the love of my life, and more often than not, my better half (gee, I really hope he’s reading this part, ha!).
So long story short – marriage takes work. Every single day.
But I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
The other piece I never addressed again in my previous post was my comment on friendships and that they should NOT take work to maintain.
Quite the opposite of what I feel about marriage.
And here’s why: Good friends, those worth keeping for years and years to come, just come naturally. Those friendships where, no matter how much time passes, you can always pick up where you left off without skipping a beat? THOSE are the friends worth keeping. Not the friends you have to justify your every move to, right down to the things that make you YOU (Heather posted about this very topic recently, wholeheartedly agree). Friendships involve give and take and it should feel pretty evenly split. You shouldn’t have to give, give, give and never have that feeling reciprocated. If you do, that “friend” of yours might not be the true friend you’d hope they’d be.
This is a mindset I’ve carried with me over the years and it’s never let me down – I have friends from various stages of my life. Some are friends that mix and mingle with my other friends, some are totally separate. Some are even virtual (hello bloggy friends!). But that’s ok. They are all my friends for good reason, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
PS. If you haven’t seen it already, I’m a featured blogger at Fitblogger today and, as it turns out, I’m the first-ever “Workout Wednesday” blogger over at Healthy Living Blogs. Check it out! Both are great healthy living communities – if you aren’t part of either group, I’d highly recommend it.