Presence

Presence.

Being present.

Captivation.

Being in the moment.

These are the thoughts that have been swirling around my brain all day today. And, as it turns out, some of my favorite blog friends had similar thoughts as mine…including Lindsay, Heather, Tina and Nicole. Unreal how that happens sometimes, huh?

I’ve been battling to find the right balance… I know, I’ll get there. Having the ability to work from home once per week will make a world of a difference. Once the weather turns, my commute should get slightly less hellacious more bearable.

But there’s something else that’s been nagging at the back of my mind.

Being present.

I have a problem being too connected all the time.

Too tethered to my blackberry (both of them).

Active on twitter, chatty on Facebook and even getting into Foursquare, too (because why not add *another* social network to the mix, right?).

I spend 9+ hours a day on my laptop at work. Only to come home and re-connect to check in on my blog friends, update my Facebook status or check my email.

Where is the presence in that?

Sure – there’s a time and a place to be connected. I love my blog friends and this community we share. It’s great for support. It’s a damn good source of inspiration. And a place where I’ve “met” some amazing friends. I wouldn’t give that up for the world.

Or would I?

I actually wondered to myself tonight if I should end my blog.

I feared, for a split second, that by pulling back from my blog, from social networking fun, that I’d fail. I’m sort of an “all or nothing” kinda girl so for me, “pulling back” isn’t something I’m very good at. I either go big or go home.

But I’m not going to give up this blog. I love it too much. I’m proud of it. It’s mine to do with it what I want. It’s a creative outlet as much as it is a way to share my hopes, dreams, goals and chatty rambles for whoever wants to read it.

Instead, I’m going to let go.

Let go of that “all or nothing” mentality and be present.

For my husband.

For my friends.

For my sisters.

For my niece.

For me.