Learning to let it go

I have a secret.

Well, it’s kind of a secret, kind of a mini confession.

I haven’t worked out in two weeks (basically).

TWO weeks of “rest”?! 

Yup, two weeks. Mostly sick-relaed, but partially vaca-related. Once I realized that beach was too short to run on, I sort of just let it go. And fully sank into a blissful few days of no routine whatsoever.

This from the girl who is notorious for HATING rest days, who used to get so caught up in the numbers game, who used to lay in bed beating herself up if she skipped a workout.

But no more.

I’m learning to let it go.

…letting go of my fierce grip on routine. Including workout routine. That means more of those “getting uncomfortable” situations like the Core Fusion challenge started out as, and just like other challenges before that.

….letting go of numbers, schedules. As in, ignoring the numbers on my garmin if/when I wear it. As in, no longer sticking to the workout manager over at Cathe.com to record my workouts. I don’t need to record them, I know (and my body feels it!) when I workout. I don’t need a written recording of it any longer. It used to be such a pride thing for me – to see so many days of the month filled up with workouts. But why? Nobody sees it but me so why was I so tied to it? No more. Not necessary.

…letting go of guilt. The past two weeks have taught me so much about myself. For one, I LOVE my workouts and freakin’ miss them so much. But I don’t miss them because I feel guilty because I haven’t burned x amount of calories or lifted x amount of weights. I miss them because they are part of me. And that’s a huge distinction – one that has literally taken my years to accept. Workouts and guilt should not go hand-in-hand. Ever. Workouts are meant to be cleansing, detoxifying, mind/body centering.

Whew. Just writing this all down and I feel a HUGE weight lifted from my shoulders. It feels great to just let it go, and just run. Just kick. Just spin. Just strength train. Just go to core fusion and breathe. For me. And only me.

If you haven’t noticed, this is something I’ve been slowly working towards the past few months and now that I’m “here” – well,  I’m not sure what comes next for me.

Well – first, I need to get better because I am DYING to give my new sneakers a spin, for one. <—they are seriously taunting me in the closet, no lie

But more seriously, what IS next for me? More races? More Core Fusion? A new weight rotation? All of the above? I’m not sure. I just know that I’m antsy. Again. What else is new? 😉