Honesty. Honestly?

<Editor’s note – this is my attempt at total honesty, but I won’t lie, this is an all-over-the-place post…I hope you can follow along despite the rambling…my mind is in a weird place today…>

So I had this huge post worked out in my mind this morning. All about honesty.

Being honest with myself (yes, I could stand to lose a few pounds).

Being honest with you guys (yes, I workout like a fiend, but I haven’t been as honest and/or open on this blog about my more lax take on eats come the weekend…)

Being honest with my husband (yes, I try to avoid negative self-talk, but it’s still there…despite my insistence that it’s not).

But then, I got to thinking – why on earth am I thinking so narrow mindedly?

Honestly? It needs to stop.

Life is so much more than the foods I put in  my body, or the workouts I choose to do or the fact that my running mojo is taking it’s sweet-ass time coming back around. These are all such small things in the grand scheme of life. Tiny. Insignificant, really.

Yet, by blogging about these things, I wonder if I’ve just become too narrow minded, too self-centered introspective, too Overthinker Ollie.

Ir’s clear to me that I need to regain a bit of perspective – yet again – versus letting this overthinking brain of mine focus on the wrong things, or the wrong angle on things.

For example…

…sure,  it’s great to focus on getting fit, living a little bit more healthfully and wholesomely. But instead of putting myself down over it (“damn you, fitblogger – you are such a sham! How can you even claim to be a true fitblogger if you’re admitting that you need to eat better, could stand to lose a few pounds, etc.), I should be giving thanks that I have the opportunity to make any changes in my lifestyle that I want.

Yet – I also have so many wonderful other blessings in my life right now that all of this healthy eating/healthy living talk  just feels so damn insignificant. And I know for a fact that there are loved ones around me that are dealing with far worse right now than my own body image issues, that’s for damn sure. And my heart aches for them. Truly.

So what now? Am I really this narrow minded….lacking in perspective…selfish?

No…at least I don’t think so.
I just lost a little perspective.
And it’s time to get it back – in all facets of my life.

<exhale>

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47 thoughts on “Honesty. Honestly?

  1. This weekend I talked with my relay friends about perspective. I think it’s really easy to lose perspective, especially when you’re surrounded by a strong group of fit, healthy people. On your rest day, someone else is running 10 miles and suddenly you’re feeling inadequate. At the BBQ, you drank the chemical-laden Diet Coke and ate the chips, but you’re inevitably going to go home and read about someone who opted for water and raw veggies. It’s not that anyone is making the wrong choice because honestly, we all have a different balance that works for us. I think maintaining your perspective is really important. Let’s face it, you do great things for your mind and body everyday. There’s no question about that!

    • YES! You hit the nail on the head- as much as I love love love the blogging community, sometimes it can be to our detriment, huh? We’re clearly all a bunch of overthinkers (thank god it’s not just me!) who can get sucked into the comparison trap amongst ourselves. But you’re right…regaining your own unique sense of perspective and balance is key. And it IS just that – your OWN perspective, nobody else’s.

  2. You’re not narrow-minded. Everyone always has things going on, some good and some bad. Whether your issues are as bad as someone else’s or not doesn’t matter. If something is bothering you, you can’t help it! It sounds like you are on the right track by putting things into perspective, realizing what’s truly important and trying to be more grateful for what you have. Awesome for you! 🙂

    • Well thank you for that reassurance…I guess I wasn’t really sure where I was going with this post, other than the fact that I needed to get all these thoughts OUT of my brain so blogging-it-out was the best and only option. 😉

      You’re right…even if my issues or concerns or whatever are small in the grand scheme of things, I guess I *am* allowed to at least feel them, right? Thanks for that reminder…so simple, but so true.

  3. really good post. it’s so easy to fall into the opposite end of the extreme and this says it all. Balance and perspective. It isn’t really THAT bad, right? 🙂

  4. i think I was reading your blog right when you were reading my blog, haha.
    I love this honesty approach. Sometimes we overthink the heck out of food and fitness that it actually becomes an idol, ya know? I love that you have a new perspective….and its NOT SELFISH!

    • Great minds, my friend, great minds. 😉
      Yes – the whole idolizing fitness and health is so true, blogging brings that out in us, which can be both good and bad. The trick is to find that balance – which is so hard sometimes!!

  5. Hmmmmm I’m having a hard time even knowing where to begin with my comment. I am a big fan of honesty. I do think you tend to overthink things – and that could be more pronounced b/c of blogging. Blogging has it’s downside sometimes. When you read about everyone else’s fantastic, awesome long runs, or uber extreme, oh my god i don’t even look at alcohol lifestyles, then you start to question yourself a bit.

    You start to think that you don’t eat right, that you’re not as healthy as you think, that you don’t workout as hard or the right way or whatever. It’s kind of like comparing yourself to the fit comp ladies in Oxygen magazine. I know this is something I struggle with and really only started dwelling on it since blogging. Now I question everything I eat. For a while I didn’t even make some dishes b/c they weren’t as clean/healthy as I wanted. But they were good, so screw that. Yes, i eat some processed vegetarian and vegan foods, yes, I drink wine, yes I still like chips and cheese dip….so there 😉

    • God, I love you. Seriously. I’ll be TOTALLY honest – half the time when I start to overthink/fret about what I’m eating/drinking/whatever, I’m looking at bloggers I admire most…and you are DEFINITELY one of them, friend. You are even more committed to your workouts than me, and you definitely have more control than I do with your eats. So to read this comment is such a relief – you ARE normal, you DO love wine and chips and cheese. Haha.

      You are right (and thank you for reminding me) – I DO overthink. Far too much sometimes. And I think (there’s that word again) despite my best efforts, this whole challenge and food log has got me overanalyzing everything. I just needed to get all my thoughts out there to figure it out. But now that I have, I feel like I can get this under control – I can focus on this challenge without letting it rule me, and without letting it steal the balance I strive so hard for. Because really, this is about small adjustments – not MAJOR or MASSIVE ones. I just need to calm the heck down, clearly!!

      xoxo

  6. Great post (honestly)! I can relate – when my diet is on track and I feel good about my body, I read other (health) blogs and feel comradeship. But when I am in a “not-so-good” place and am doing things I know will make me feel like crap (overeating,drinking,etc) I read other blogs and feel like a loser. I like Becky’s point about perspective.

    • Thank you so much – I am SO glad I hit “publish” on this post…I nearly didn’t for fear of how I would come across.
      This is what blogging is all about – mutual support, right?

  7. Never mind the “far worse things”. There are blogs for all kinds of things, from collecting Royal Wedding Memoribilia to recovering from cancer. Own what your blog is about; don’t think that perspective has to mean moping about with the weight of the world on your shoulders.

    Keep writing about being fit and eating well, but don’t feel you have to hide (or display!) every time you have a cheese craving. I bet if you go back to the blogs you read, you can find, somewhere in the past 10 posts, a very human moment. Whether it’s a self-deprecating comment, an i-dont-even-feel-bad cheeseburger or a workout skipped due to a case of the Mondays. And if they didn’t write about it, you can be sure they snuck one in somewhere.

    We’re all human!

    • Thank you for this – for reminding me to “own it” – you are SO RIGHT! This is my blog, my home to do with it what I want and if I need to “blog it out” – so be it!

      I try to be as honest as I can on this blog – including when I’m having a “down day” or whatever…I’m not always puppies and rainbows afterall…nobody can be. I guess I was just starting to get caught up in the whole fitblog concept…if I’m so “fit” then why do I need to lose a few lbs. If I’m so “fit” why am I having a hard time admitting that a food log might be a good, short-term, accountability tool for me? But this is me, take me or leave me. So thank you for getting that.

  8. Great post. So true. I completely understand where you are coming from, and have similar thoughts all the time. I have found myself driving before and saying “why are you so strict with yourself? can’t you just live your life?” Sometimes living healthy feels like a constant battle. Why did I wake up Sunday morning regretting my cheese laden nacho dinner the night before, when I clearly enjoyed eating them??? The blogging world can definitely make you feel guilty. Just always stay true to yourself and you will be okay. I love your blog and think you are a strong woman:) I’m going to take your advice and focus on the more important things in life!

    • YES! Life is way too short to feel entirely deprived all the time. Everything in moderation is a good mantra, for sure. And at the end of the day, it’s about being HAPPY and fit…not miserable and deprived but fit, because that’s no way to live. At least I don’t think it is. Balance is better. Thank you for such kind words – you totally made me smile when I read this!!

  9. You are overcoming a fear. I think your feelings are natural…and that you recognize them? Fantastic. After these 60 days, you’ll have so much more than an (even more) rockin body! 🙂

    • Very good point…you’re right. I am overcoming a fear – facing some bad habits, and working hard to make some subtle changes that will pay off in the long run…and will HOPEFULLY be a lot of fun in the end, too. 🙂

  10. I think we can all relate to this post. What we do need to remember, is that even though certain healthy bloggers may seem to have everything under control, they are human just like us. We can’t over think every morsel we eat, every mile we run, and every craving that suddently sneaks upon us to ruin our entire day of clean eating. It’s not way to live..its not fun either!

    I absolutley love your blog because you’re you. If you have a day when you eat a Sundae or batch of cheesy nachos…I think, YES! Someone who is living life! and it’s true, there is more to each day than organic foods and marathons. Write about what makes you happy..that is what people want to read.

    • Aww thank you!! Your comment seriously made my day – especially that you recognize that I try to write honestly as a blogger. I never want to pretend to be someone I’m not…and never will be. I am who I am and I’m proud of that fact. Sure, I sometimes doubt myself, but I’m human and imperfect. And that’s really ok by me. Truly.

  11. Holy wow, body image is attacking on all fronts today. We’ll work toward eradicating that negative mindset over some lean and tone tonight at the gym, mmm kay? 🙂

    • Yes ma’am! Cannot wait!!
      And seriously, your post was awesome today…clearly we could all use a dose of positive body image reinforcement now and then, huh? PS good use of the word “eradicating” btw haha

  12. I just want to say that it is okay to feel the way you are feeling. We all go through that at some time or the other. What’s important is that one has the self-awareness to put things into perspective, which you totally do!

    • Thank you for the reassurance, clearly – that was a big reason why I “blogged it out” yesterday – to get my thoughts down on paper but also to see if I’m the only one that faces these questions/fears as a blogger.

  13. I read this earlier and meant to comment, and got distracted and just am now getting back. However, it looks like everyone else has already said what I was going to say – don’t be so hard on yourself and your feelings are not insignificant!

    Also, I totally eat garbage on the weekend and the fact that you aren’t perfect either makes me like you that much more.

  14. I think that everyone who reads a lot of health and fitness blogs feels this way at one time or another. But you do have to put it in perspective. There are always going to be people who eat “healthier” or run faster than you do. But you are always going to be healthier or faster than other people.

    Plus, the blogging world is sort of a weird microcosm. Think of people you know in real life. I bet you’re the healthiest person they know!

    • I literally LOL’d at this comment, Lee – you are so RIGHT. Blogging is such a microcosm and because of that fact, it is SO easy to get caught up in comparing ourselves to whoever is faster, stronger, a cleaner eater, etc. But you’re right – we are all healthy and fit in our own right…and IRL you hit the nail on the head, I am one of the more geeky fitgeeks of my friends.

  15. Incredible post!! I really relate to your thoughts here. 🙂 I definitely find myself OVERLY narrowing my focus to fitness and nutrition. It is something I’m passionate about – that’s the truth – but there’s a balance (a-ha!) that will make me fulfilled and not obsessive. I hope you felt a weight lift after writing this! xo

  16. You’re doing wonderful and I love your blog, it’s so refreshing to read honest thoughts that I think we all experience and struggle with.

  17. Isn’t it amazing how much we can kid ourselves sometimes. And the fact that it comes from just being terrified of not being perfect in some miniscule way. I would NEVER expect even the most dedicated fitblogger to eat perfectly all the time. And yet all this while you’ve been (consciously or unconsciously) worrying about letting the side down for doing what any normal person does, which is enjoy some treats at the weekend. Sure, that can sometimes start to take on a life of its own, and then you pull things back in a little. But that’s not about being a bad fitblogger. It’s about being a regular human being. Trite but true 😉

  18. Blogging can definitely feed the crazy person inside of us who is always striving to be better. If I ran 5 miles, someone else ran 10 and they ran them faster. If I ate pizza, someone else ate a salad. I think the important thing is to remember that we are all different. Everyone’s goals are different. Everyone’s bodies are different. And everyone’s lives are different. The crazy thing about the internet is that everyone can put out whatever version of themselves they want, and we have no idea what those seemingly “perfect” people are really going through behind the scenes. Sure, they may actually BE perfect, but I highly doubt it. So, this was an extremely long winded way of saying, you aren’t crazy, and thank you for your honesty. 🙂

    • Seriously – I am SO glad I wrote this post the other day. It has totally calmed my (clearly irrational!) fears that I was being a dishonest or ‘unpure’ fitblogger by admitting to my flaws out there in the open like that. It makes me LOVE this blogging community even more to know that ya’ll are SO much more like me than I guess I realized. Thank you!

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