…so I’m a planner, if you didn’t notice that by now.
And when things don’t go according to plan, well — I don’t always handle it well. Call it a personality flaw. Call it a symptom of being a very typical Type-A personality. Call it me.
For some reason, I’m just not very good at rolling with the punches, switching my focus and moving on. But I’m working on it.
A couple of examples – some more minor than others…
…I didn’t get up to run this morning. No biggie, right? Well, kinda. Sure, I’ll run tomorrow and other days this week. I’ll get my runner’s high fix in. I enjoyed the extra hour of sleep (needed after a restless night with way too many weird dreams). But yet, now that I’m looking out my bedroom window and seeing the gorgeous cool weather out there. Well, I feel guilty. And I hate that my mind goes there. I’m healthy. I’m fit. One skipped run is no big deal. But for some reason, I worry that one skipped run will turn into two or three skipped runs and there goes my running mojo again. I know, I know — it won’t. But there’s that irrational side of my brain, the side that has a hard time dealing with plans not working, that I struggle.
This is me – blogging it out.
…when I logged into WordPress today I noticed something. Yesterday was my 500th post. And I didn’t even notice. I didn’t celebrate it. I didn’t do some special giveaway or something to commemorate the occasion. Again, no biggie, yeah? Well I know it’s not – but I’m also a very proud blogger and am thankful to this lovely blog community that I belong to. Because it allows me to do something most cannot…share pieces of me every single day with all of you. You are wonderful, thank you for being part of all 500 posts, almost two years later.
This is me, blogging it out.
…the wine country three-peat is not happening. Well, it is for everyone else. But for Scott and I? We have to bow out. It’s for a beautiful reason – Scott’s job that I feel very, very blessed that he landed and wouldn’t trade it for the world. His job is not one where vacation time is granted unless in very extreme circumstances – school vacations count as vacation time, any other time of year, notsomuch. I had hoped there would be a workaround, or that they’d grant him his request y’know, just because he asked so nicely. I was trying to be optimistic even though I knew deep down it would be an issue. And sure, I could go without him, find a friend to come along for his “half” of the house. But you know what? It wouldn’t be the same — we’ve gone to wine country the past two years together with our friends and I’d just miss him and all of those shared memories if I went and he stayed behind. Call me crazy, but I just can’t do it. I’m far too in love with my husband to go on a vacation without him, at least not a vacation like this one. So this is me, not apologizing for my commitment to my relationship. Even though I know I’ll be disappointing friends (and my sister, sorry sis…), I feel strongly about this.
This is me, blogging it out.
Everything happens for a reason…even if not according to my plan. And I’ve got to (learn to) be ok with that.