When things don’t go according to plan…

…so I’m a planner, if you didn’t notice that by now.

And when things don’t go according to plan, well — I don’t always handle it well. Call it a personality flaw. Call it a symptom of being a very typical Type-A personality. Call it me.

For some reason, I’m just not very good at rolling with the punches, switching my focus and moving on. But I’m working on it.

A couple of examples – some more minor than others…

…I didn’t get up to run this morning. No biggie, right? Well, kinda. Sure, I’ll run tomorrow and other days this week. I’ll get my runner’s high fix in. I enjoyed the extra hour of sleep (needed after a restless night with way too many weird dreams). But yet, now that I’m looking out my bedroom window and seeing the gorgeous cool weather out there. Well, I feel guilty. And I hate that my mind goes there. I’m healthy. I’m fit. One skipped run is no big deal. But for some reason, I worry that one skipped run will turn into two or three skipped runs and there goes my running mojo again. I know, I know — it won’t. But there’s that irrational side of my brain, the side that has a hard time dealing with plans not working, that I struggle.

This is me – blogging it out. 

…when I logged into WordPress today I noticed something. Yesterday was my 500th post. And I didn’t even notice. I didn’t celebrate it. I didn’t do some special giveaway or something to commemorate the occasion. Again, no biggie, yeah? Well I know it’s not – but I’m also a very proud blogger and am thankful to this lovely blog community that I belong to. Because it allows me to do something most cannot…share pieces of me every single day with all of you. You are wonderful, thank you for being part of all 500 posts, almost two years later.

This is me, blogging it out. 

…the wine country three-peat is not happening. Well, it is for everyone else. But for Scott and I? We have to bow out. It’s for a beautiful reason – Scott’s job that I feel very, very blessed that he landed and wouldn’t trade it for the world. His job is not one where vacation time is granted unless in very extreme circumstances – school vacations count as vacation time, any other time of year, notsomuch. I had hoped there would be a workaround, or that they’d grant him his request y’know, just because he asked so nicely. I was trying to be optimistic even though I knew deep down it would be an issue. And sure, I could go without him, find a friend to come along for his “half” of the house. But you know what? It wouldn’t be the same — we’ve gone to wine country the past two years together with our friends and I’d just miss him and all of those shared memories if I went and he stayed behind. Call me crazy, but I just can’t do it. I’m far too in love with my husband to go on a vacation without him, at least not a vacation like this one. So this is me, not apologizing for my commitment to my relationship. Even though I know I’ll be disappointing friends (and my sister, sorry sis…), I feel strongly about this.

This is me, blogging it out.

Everything happens for a reason…even if not according to my plan. And I’ve got to (learn to) be ok with that. 

 

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34 thoughts on “When things don’t go according to plan…

  1. Sis, I respect your decision re: wine country, completely. I just wish so much that we could move the trip so we could enjoy it together. It simply won’t be the same without you. As for the run? Glad you aren’t overthinking *too* much, tomorrow is a new day. XO

    • I hate the circumstances, so much. I am trying so hard to believe that the reason behind it all will become obvious pretty quickly, but for now, I’m really bummed. 😦

      I’m also trying to ignore the fact that it’s gorgeous out and I’m stuck at work when I’d SO MUCH rather be running right now. Hmph.

  2. Bummer, that you guys can’t go to wine country together! But, I’m not sure I’d want to go without my husband either.

    Congrats on your 500th blog post!

  3. Girl you know I understand each and everything you just said. I felt guilty for missing spin yesterday and I seriously couldn’t have done the stupid class. Why on earth feel guilty about it? Makes no rational sense at all. But it is what it is right?

    And I do think things happen for a reason, they fall into place even if it doesn’t make sense at first. It’s hard to roll with the punches, but it sure makes life easier the better you get at doing so.

    • This is why I swear we share a freakin’ brain! So silly how we play these guilt tricks and mind games all the time when really, we are healthy, fit and strong – there is NO need to feel badly for skipping just one workout. As if either of us would just suddenly stop working out because we skipped a single workout. As if 😉

  4. Type A or bust! I can totally relate to how you are feeling! And you know what? The fact you blogged it out is awesome, and tomorrow you will run it out in the gorgeous weather and feel refreshed once again:) Keep working hard girl, you are an inspiration to me for sure!

    • Yes ma’am, that is me to a T (and no, I didn’t meant to rhyme hehe).

      Blogging it out is sometimes the only way I can make sense of things going on in my head so thank you for indulging me and for “getting” my need to do that now and then on the blog. Having your collective support is huge for me. So thank you.

  5. Love your honesty Jess, as always! I also beat myself up over missing a run the other day, but instead I ran 7 miles the next day to make up for it. And it was a strong, feel-good 7 miles at that. I think it’s important to go “off schedule” sometimes and give ourselves a little leeway, even if it can be a little scary when things go not as planned. It’s more fun and spontaneous that way!

    • Thank you friend – that means so much. I respect fellow bloggers that keep it real and honest all the time so I try very hard to hold myself to the very same standards, no matter what.

      Love your example – and I know that’s exactly what will happen for me. Tomorrow is a new day -one where a gorgeous run WILL happen and it’ll be fabulous.

  6. Too true about everything happening for a reason though sometimes I can’t figure out the reason at the time. I’m sure there will be other nice breaks away with Scott and congratulations on the 500th post!!! Well done you. Heres to 500 more.

    • Thank you for saying so – when I wrote this earlier this morning, I felt like it was a rambling mess, so for you to think it was beautiful, well – that just made my day. For real.

  7. Blogging it out = step 1, right? Nice, cooler summer days make it so hard to “skip” those runs, but you’ll get RIGHT back into “it”. And I would totally skip the wine-country trip if I had planned on D being there, and he couldn’t make it. You guys can save the $ and go somewhere together 🙂

    • Totally, blogging it out ALWAYS does the trick for me. Helps me collect and gather my thoughts.

      And thank you for agreeing with me on the wine country thing…so sad not to go but it would be even worse if I tried to go without him. Sigh.

  8. CONGRATULATIONS on your 500th!!!! Holy God, woman! Good for you!!!!!!! I love that you used ‘blogging it out’ as a verb. Well done. I totally agree with you on the vacation time away from the hubs. If it’s a weekend with the girls and no other guys, then sure. But you’re right! You’d miss him too much! This is exactly how Khloe Kardashian felt when she decided not to go to Bora Bora without Lamar Odom. If that doesn’t make you feel better… then nothing will.
    …Too much???

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  10. Jess….you’re not alone in the “I’d rather not take a vacation without my husband” when it comes to making memories, etc. If it’s a girl’s vacation, it’s different. Otherwise, I’m the same exact way. I can’t do things without him, because the memories mean so much more when he’s around. And…I bet Jo feels the same way about M. 😉 (Am I right, Jo?)

    I love that you can be upset about something like missing that vacation, but understand the blessings that have come with it.

    PS: I totally get the “if I skip again, then I’ll lose my mojo” and the looking out the window and feeling guilty that you’re not utilizing the cool weather for your runs. Because you’re so dedicated to your running, for you to have taken that extra hour to sleep means you needed it. ❤

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