Impromptu. Different.

It’s been a long week in the Sutera household.  And last night turned into our breaking point in the week – the we-need-to-slow-down-and-breathe moment was finally upon Scott and I. Both of us have been working (and working out) a lot this week, leaving little-to-no “us” time, something we both cherish very much.

So even though last night was supposed to be one of my favorite barre n9ne double sessions of the week, as soon as Scott mentioned an impromptu date night, I was all ears. I eagerly left work last night totally ready to unwind over a dinner that would not be cooked (or cleaned up) by us. A night where we could sit and talk about our days (I couldn’t wait for lots of stories from Scott’s day teaching a combination of kindergarten and fourth grade age students…have I mentioned I *love* being a teacher’s wife??).

Not rushed.

And that’s exactly what it was. No pictures were taken. No iPhones whipped out to ruin the moment (welllll, I admit, I tried but gave up fast when I realized the lighting was wrong and um, hello – I was on a *date*, no need for “pics for the blog”).  Just us.

It was perfect.

What was different about last night, though?

Our approach to eating out. Since I’ve totally changed my approach to eating given how eye-opening the barre n9ne challenge has been for me on the eating front almost even more so than on the body image front, I approached last night quite differently than I would have in the past. So did Scott.

Instead of looking at a dinner out as an all-out splurge, eating whatever I wanted, not really thinking much about calories, hunger levels, or patterns, I looked at it as a holistic experience. 

Last night was a date with my husband. A time to catch-up, reconnect, focus on us. The food was secondary. 

I switched my focus entirely. 

I chose based on my hunger levels (which were surprisingly not at “ravenous” level as they normally are by dinnertime). I chose based on the experience, too.

I knew I wanted to celebrate winesday with Scott. Yesterday also happened to be his very first paycheck at the new gig, and what better way to celebrate that fact than with a delicious glass of wine? (I personally can’t think of anything better!). 

So I chose a glass of pinot gris from a local vineyard in Nantucket (was delish, so crisp and fruity). I also chose a watermelon gazpacho (equally delish, light and refreshing). And then, I chose an ahi tuna salad for my entree.

No bread.  No bites of Scott’s appetizer. Because he didn’t even get one (huge for him).

The main course arrived. And it was the perfect serving size. Not too big, not too small. Just right. And I enjoyed every bite. (as did Scott of his meal).

But even more importantly? Last night didn’t revolve around the food. It revolved around the entire experience. And mainly centered on good conversation with my husband, who I missed so much this week given how little time we’d had together up until that point.

And that’s a huge shift for me. No more centering events or special occasions around food. Last night was about the experience, the moments. Just breathing.

And I dig it. The impromptu nature of the night. The radical difference in how each of us approached the night. We’ve come full circle. In so, so many ways.

Last night we cheers’ed to our favorite “cheers” lately…to something especially fitting these days.

…To new beginnings.  


22 thoughts on “Impromptu. Different.

  1. Love this. Food should be secondary. I have had so many times when I just go out to eat and focus solely on the food and not the company and it kind of defeats the point. When I make plans, whether it’s with Jason or friends, to go to dinner, it’s always with the intention of seeing the other person, not to just eat.

    I read recently that you should pick either bread, wine or dessert and not more than one. I put this into play the other night. Umm, of course I chose wine!

    • Absolutely. It’s taken me this long to figure out how to make the food secondary vs. my sole focus when in a social setting. And I’m still very much enjoying what I’m eating or drinking but it’s not my #1 focus anymore and that’s a huge shift for me, completely.

      And I’m SO with you – I’d always pick wine vs. bread or dessert, hands down!!!

  2. First of all, congrats for recognizing the breaking point, taking a step back, and reconnecting. I feel like I appreciate the taste of the food more when I approach an evening with balance. I also appreciate the time spent with my hubby more when my face isn’t in my plate of food. And the lack of a food/salt hangover the next day is an added bonus 🙂

    3 cheers for impromptu date nights…they are fabulous!

    • We’ve gotten better at tuning into that “breaking point” moment in our relationship. We went through a big rut a few years back and NEVER want to go back to that point again so we’re much more tuned in now which is awesome for our relationships. So important to make those relationship investments, you know?

      Last night was perfect, a great night of catching up, some giggles, great wine and the best company I could ever ask for 🙂

  3. EXACTLY!!! So glad you did this sis. The first time I went out to dinner with M after NOT going out for so long during this challenge etc, I was afraid it would be really hard. But it wasn’t. I did exactly what you did. Chose wisely. Focused on us, conversation, glass of wine. I was satisfied, not stuffed. Perfect feeling.

    • It was SO needed. I didn’t think twice about the unplanned rest day or the missed b9 workouts – the time with Scott trumped that for me last night. It was exactly what we needed. Totally love that you’re going to try to do more of this, too!

  4. I love this because I have recently experienced the same thing. I used to put going out to dinner on the holy grail of food pedastals. I would kind of “save up” all day to eat out and then all i could think about was the food and i would eat wayy too much and then feel guilty. I was not just enjoying the time with the hubby or whoever. Recently, I have changed my approach to food and restaurants in the last year and like you have made it secondary. In fact, we realized we went out twice last month and not yet this month. We used to go out at least 2 times a week and then order in toO! Now we hardly do. even if we are tired we just do something simple at home and relax. i really need a date night or time with the hubby like you though. it has been sooo crazy!!! meanwhile just thinking can i convince you into a local 5k this week, soo fun!

    • That’s awesome! We haven’t been out to dinner in ages either – can’t even tell you the last time that was! It definitely helps that we LOVE nothing more than to spend a Saturday night in, cooking up a fantastic dinner, pouring some wine and having a date night in. Helps that we’re also pretty fab cooks, not to brag or anything, hehe 😉

  5. The only thing I can think of to say is I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your relationship with Scott. You two celebrate each other. You support each other and you run together. You miss each other and your goals are different…but are the same, too. And it just so happens you both discover things together. 🙂 I ❤ it.

    • Again, LOVE you for how awesome your comments are – because they are thoughtful but also thought provoking! Like this comment and the part about shared goals but different goals, you are SO right. I never even looked at it that way before!

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