Yup, Saturday was our last long run of our training in preparation for the Green Strides half marathon next weekend! Weee! 😉
And, I have to say, despite 40 mph wind gusts and a hip that started to bug me about halfway through the run, I was amazed that the 11 miles seemed to fly by. I feel the most conditioned I have ever felt as a runner – and it’s for this reason that I am totally and utterly excited to “meet” 13.1 again next weekend.
So this “most conditioned” feeling I mention? It feels so great. I feel privileged to feel so strong and ready to rock this race.
…but I almost feel *too* privileged, somehow. Almost like I don’t deserve it or something. Or that I’m on the verge of an injury or something else horrible that would prevent me from continuing on this runner’s high I’ve been loving the past few months. Sort of like the “waiting for the other shoe to drop” mentality. And that’s the one thing I do not like about this whole thing. It’s a weird feeling, and it sort of crept up out of the blue after our run. Dislike.
So why am I suddenly letting fear come into play? Why am I suddenly feeling like I haven’t earned this and/or don’t deserve this? I sure as hell have been working my ass off for this race, for the last race, for all of it. Why now?
I don’t know.
And I don’t care.
After Saturday’s long run when these thoughts started to creep in, I made myself a promise: do not let self-doubt in. Not now. Not ever.
Instead – let’s look at October 23 as the pay-off of all this hard work and commitment and let’s celebrate that. It’s earned. It’s deserved. It’s something you’ve more than worked for. Don’t back down now. Finish what you started.
So 13.1? I’m coming for you. And if I were you, I’d watch your back.