Of obligations, guilt, and learning to be ‘type B’

So I’ve talked about that thing called guilt plenty of times on the blog, most notably in this post from a few months ago.

And you all know that I’ve been battling my brain this week – hello Type A on overdrive, much?

I’ve also talked a bit about putting yourself first during the hectic, crazy holiday season, when I talked about finding balance during the holidays, me-first style, just last week.

What do all three of these themes have in common? Obligations. 

…feeling obligated to see those ‘need to see’ friends or family vs. those ‘reaallly want to see’ friends or family.

…feeling guilt if things don’t going exactly according to plan, and/or things aren’t quite as perfect as you might have pictured them in your head. Obligated to live up to that perfect image at all times.

…or struggling to stop trying to be everything to everyone all.the.time. Forgetting to honor and adore a loved one sitting right in front you. Because you were too busy fulfilling all those other obligations first.

But why? Why do we let obligations drive us? 

I think it’s really quite simple. And I didn’t even see it until one of my best friends texted me to check in on me yesterday (mwah!). She wanted me to take a step back, breathe, figure out how to be slightly more Type B as I get ready for all the holiday hostessing I have going on this weekend.

That simple text chat showed me something. Obligations drive us because we’re too busy to recognize it. 

So busy in go, do, act mode that we (as in ‘I’) forget to breathe. 

So this is me, telling myself – and all of you – to remember to breathe.  Remember what’s most important in your life. Not just during the holidays, but everyday. Let go just a wee bit of that go, do, act mentality.

…and that sense of obligation will, quite simply, melt away. And you’ll remember – and more importantly, see – what’s worth focusing on. And what’s not. 

Just breathe.