When it’s worth it.

I had a moment the other night.
…where I questioned.

…why does mindless eating — or the simple urge to — (an old, a very stubborn habit of mine that now and then likes to try to rear its ugly head) throw me into a tailspin of doubt and frustration?

…why do I push myself to run harder, faster, longer? Do I do it because I love it or because I simply can’t stop doing, going, moving?

…why do I sometimes beat myself up in those rare instances where I don’t give my workout every last ounce of strength and energy I have?

…why do I feel the need to strive for perfection all the time?

The answer? Well, it took me a day or two to get here but here’s the bottom line in all of this questioning and wondering I’ve been doing.

And really, there are two “answers” to the why’s.
…First off – I have some work to do in terms of quieting the mind, of striving for excellence instead of perfection. Note to self.
…but secondly, (and more importantly?) I do, I am, I strive…

…because I’m worth it.

The nearly year-long journey I’ve been on to reshape my eating habits – towards fueling (and downright delicious) foods, eaten with a mindfulness I never posessed before (and sometimes still struggle with, admittedly).

Worth it.

The same nearly year-long journey with barre n9ne, towards reshaping my body — but even more importantly — reshaping my mind. Around the concept of working smarter, not harder. Of connecting my mind with  my body with every plie, every shoulder raise, every glute lift. Of learning to love the mind and body that stares back at me from the mirror every day.

Worth it.

The miles and miles I’ve put into training and running half marathons. That has lead me towards a bucket list item of mine. The elusive 26.2 miler. Just once. I want to do it, just once. It’s a huge committment, but it’s mine to make.

Worth it.

The hours and weeks spent training to become barre n9ne certified. Which meant saying “no” to plans with friends on weekends, and even less time spent with my husband (our time already so short during the week given work schedules and ‘life’ in general) while in training. But those hours sacrificed with loved ones? Equalled chasing and captured a huge dream of mine.

Worth it.

So next time I start to question my intentions in life — from the very smallest to the very largest — I’m going to think back to this post.

The day where I remembered that I’m worth it.

Because if I remember that I’m worth it?

I’ll be a better wife to my husband who I adore.

I’ll be a better sister to my beautiful sisters who are my best friends.

I’ll be a better friend to those who constantly lift me up and support me, loving me for me (quirks and all).

I’ll be a better follower of His word, a believer in Faith and all the blessings that come with that.

Because that’s what matters most.
(said far more eloquently by Lindsay in her post yesterday, a total must read. And even though I read her post after writing this one, where for a split second I wondered if my own post sounded too “me-centric” — I reconsidered. Because part of our life “resume” is about fulfilling your own dreams and self-worth and in turn, passing that “worth” forward through the actions and emotions you share with loved ones to, in turn, lift them up higher, higher, higher…)


20 thoughts on “When it’s worth it.

  1. You are ABSOLUTELY worth it! You’re a great wife, a great friend, and an awesome motivator, not to mention a HUGE inspiration.

    I feel extremely lucky to have you (and Scott) as friends XOXO

    • I feel extremely lucky to have YOU in my life too — it’s crazy how some friends you meet and it feels like you’ve known them for eons. It’s exactly how I feel about you and it’s been such a short time. I love it.

  2. I Love this post sis!! It says it all so eloquently…WHY we do this. WHY we strive higher, bigger, more, more, more. Because we are worth it, because it makes us stronger, because we are happier, because we love it. That is a fit and happy life, isn’t it?

    • Absolutely sis. You are worth every last ounce of energy and effort you put into the things that you love, the things that make you YOU. This is what life should be about – embracing our self-worth and sharing that love with those around us.

    • Aww thank you friend, you are so good at giving me that perspective — on how far I’ve come since we “met” just a couple of years ago. I feel like we’re both such different people than we were then, in a very GOOD way, of course.

  3. I missed this post yesterday…I love it…I feel like I’m always striving for something more – to improve myself in some way…And while I think there is some merit to that, there are times when I feel like I never sit back and enjoy myself at where I am today. Such a beautiful post!!!! xoxo

    • That’s a really good point — I tend to do that too, forgetting to sit back to enjoy where I am right this very moment in life. Sort of goes back to being “present” in life – and being “present” and joyful at every stage in life vs. hoping and striving for more, more, more all the time (which has a time and a place, too).

  4. Great post! I do the same thing. Like right now I’m beating myself up for not going to yoga even though the reason I’m not going is because my legs have felt heavy on Tuesday night runs and want to see if yoga is to blame. It’s so hard when we strive to be the best to realize that sometimes being the best is letting ourselves not be perfect. Accepting our imperfections is so hard but worth it!

    • It IS so hard to let go of that image of “perfection” and learning to be happy with excellence vs. sheer perfection ALL the time. Like you said, you have a really good reason for NOT going to yoga to see if it helps the ‘dead leg’ feeling you’ve been having on Tuesday nights. It’s very smart — and not something to be mentally berating yourself for (I’m guilty of doing it too). Remember – you are WORTH it, no matter what!

  5. I heart this!! Seems like a lot of us are having some fantastic hallelujah moments, aren’t we? You’re damn right you’re worth it. Life isn’t about living it for others. It’s about living life to its fullest…and sharing the wealth with others. Does that make sense??

    • I love it: “you’re damn right you’re worth it” – hehe, said with such emphasis! 🙂

      It totally makes sense to me dear, I’m so glad we’re all having these “come to jesus” moments lately!!

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