Fact: I’ve been running four times a week throughout the winter and into this round of training for the half marathon on May 6th. Pretty consistently so, I’d say.
Fact: I run because I love it, because it challenges me, because it keeps me fit.
Fact: I do not run ‘just to run’, nor do I run to maintain my weight. My running motivation is far deeper than that now.
So when it came to running yesterday, my third of four planned runs this week, I found my motivation waning by late afternoon. You see, I went to barre n9ne in the AM – an awesome class with one of my fit besties Steph – and had grand plans to get home and run a few miles with Scott, taking full advantage of having him around during school vacation week.
My knee was a wee bit achy when I got back, so after much hemming and hawing, I decided to postpone the run to after work and before dinner, in the hopes that my knee would loosen up and I’d be all clear to run.
The good news? My knee felt fine by midday.
The bad news? My motivation was flying quickly out the window. I chalk it up to poor sleep patterns this week and the tail end of half marathon training that always leaves me so tired.
So when my sis (oh so wise sis) pushed me on my reasons for wanting to get my run in last night. She simply asked me one question:
Why did I feel that I ‘needed’ to get that run in last night when I clearly wasn’t feeling it?
Why did I respond that it was because I wanted to get my four ‘planned’ runs in for the week.
Why did I feel so strongly that I must get those four runs in?
It’s not like one training run will ever make or break my training. (as I’ve said a million times on this blog, talk about pot/kettle!)
It’s not like my body isn’t fully capable and accustomed to running often.
It’s not like scrapping one cardio session this week will do any harm to my fitness levels.
So why, why, why did I question my intentions?
Call it a reoccurance of OATT syndrome.
Or call it what it is — I am so darn used to pushing myself physically, filling any free time that I have with a good sweatfest. I set such a high bar for myself.all.the.time. Legit unable to chill out and not DO anything just beause I have the free time, unplanned and all. <<–something one of my IRL besties asked me about on gchat yesterday too, she literally has no idea HOW I don’t know how to relax. Haha. Well she DOES know me very well so she ‘gets’ it, it IS me afterall, but still. Point taken. I need to chill the eff out.
So what’s the moral of this little story of mine? That sometimes (ok, a lot of the time), it’s a really good thing to simply step back and ask yourself WHY.
Your answer may both surprise you and remind you that everything you do and strive for in life ought to be done with intention.
…not just out of habit.
…not just because it was according to some ‘plan.’
…not just because it’s what you’ve always done.
But because there is true, real, strong intention behind those actions.
I’m a big, huge, giant believer in living with intent. So this little OATT outbreak turned into a really, really good reminder for me to get back to living that way. Stepping away from the plans, the habits, the routines.
Getting back to intention.