Three years…and full circle

Funny thing. I forgot today was the three year anniversary of this little blog of mine.
(until I read Alicia’s post last night and it jogged my memory…I’ve been following her blog since day 1!)

You see — I’ve been a little bit too busy ‘living’ and have found far less time for blogging lately.
…so when I read my very first post again last night, it dawned on me — I’ve kind of come full circle in the three years since EatDrinkBreatheSweat came to life. 

It was this portion of that post that reminded me of that fact:

So, on a rainy Saturday afternoon, I bring you: EatDrinkBreatheSweat. The reason for the name? Well – before I launched this blog, being the Type-A person that I am, I did some research. What I found was a bunch of weight-loss related blogs and hard-core certified personal trainer-type blogs but no blog for the fitness fanatics that simply love to workout but also know how to enjoy life. So while I truly do love, love, love working out – from running to spinning to stepping to kickboxing and weight-lifting – I also love to eat, drink, and live (aka “breathe”) life to the fullest. Recent events in my life have really taught me how short and fragile life truly is. So why would I want to spend it as a “tortured soul” (more on this in a future post, I promise), never allowing myself to indulge in some of my favorites (wine, chocolate, cheese, pizza, and the list goes on)? Well, I wouldn’t and don’t intend to.

It’s funny that in re-reading my words from three years ago, I claimed to live a very balanced, very un-‘tortured’ soul life. Yet, in secret, I was very ‘tortured.’ I loved working out. Loved, loved, loved it. But I hated that I never saw the results I wanted…unless I cut out all of the foods that I loved (wine included). I claimed to eat well and very balanced back then but in theory, I often blew it out of the water on the weekends, only to ‘be good’ during the week and I wondered why I wasn’t a chiseled specimen (lol) given all the hours I spent at the gym back then. (NOT that working out is all about physical appearance, trust me it is WAY more than that to me today…)

But now? I truly *am* the person I claimed I was three years ago.

I am at peace with food. It doesn’t hold power over me like it used to. It doesn’t control me. It fuels me. And yes, it *does* make me happy. But not in a gorge-myself-until-I-want-to-die kind of ‘happy.’ But in an at-peace, intuitive and mindful kind of happy.

I embrace the smarter, not harder mentality in my workouts. I don’t spend HOURS in the gym everyday only to come home frustrated and let down. I run. #simply. I teach barre classes...a style I utterly adore to pieces, something I talk about all.the.time. on this blog. barre n9ne is what works for me, it’s my ‘secret sauce’  — the style of workout that just does it for me, both physically but definitely mentally as well. I’ve never felt more in tune and connected to my own body as I do today. Or more strong. 

I am ‘breathing‘ far more than I was back then — truly (albeit slowly) getting back to living presently. I’m seeking faith and embracing faith so much more than I was three years ago. And I’m enjoying every last bit of my days, even those days that are so jam packed with STUFF, I seek out those #littlethings to be thankful for.

Which is what I’m doing right now — giving thanks.
…for the past three years — I am so very thankful for a journey that has awakened new beginnings in me and around me at every bend in my path.
…I am filled with gratitude for the beautiful friends I’ve ‘met’ over the years through blogging.
…And I’m finally happy just (be)ing…just Jess. 

 

Source: backonpointe.tumblr.com via Jess on Pinterest