…there *may* be a reason why.
Backing up to Monday…
I teach a 6am and 7am class at barre n9ne. (whee!)
I then rush my butt home to shower, dry my hair and get dressed for work. Grab my work bag plus my gym bag (since I teach a 7pm class too!) and my lunch bag and out the door I go, if I’m lucky I can get out the door by 8:40. This Monday? I wasn’t out the door until closer to 8:50.
I wasted precious minutes on the ride home from the studio (it’s a 5 min ride at MOST) stuck behind a dump truck.
Then the outfit I had in mind wasn’t working so I had to think quick and grab something else. (preferably something *not* wrinkled).
Finally out the door and damn did I need coffee in the worst way. So I spent the extra minutes hitting Starbucks to grab some coffee, all while kicking myself for not setting the percolator up while I was getting ready.
Scramble back into the car and zip towards the highway. And once again, find myself stuck behind some guy who thought it was a good idea to take the on-ramp to the highway at a cool 15 mph.
Swearing under my breath, sweating, and growing more frazzled by the second, I was so annoyed. <—I’m sure you can imagine these scene…
And thought: I just can’t get out of my own way today.
…and that’s when it hit me: this is a test. His test.
You see, just this past Sunday, I listened to one of Joel Osteen’s devotionals (by now you know we love listening to his sermons that we DVR to listen to while we eat breakfast on Sunday mornings…) and the message was around the ‘tests’ God routinely puts in front of us. And by ‘tests’ I don’t necessarily mean giant tests like job loss, a death in the family, serious illness or financial woes, but those little tests that push us to get out of our own way, recognize the test and use it as a means of shaking off a bad habit or personality ‘flaw.’
In Monday’s case? This was a test of my patience. Y’know that trait I don’t happen to possess a heck of a lot of.? Yeah. That.
And in that moment, when I pulled back and recognized that all those little ‘can’t get out of my own way’ moments were mini-tests to force me to dig deep to find patience, I suddenly felt relieved. It was almost like God saying “see?? I told you, so.” (in a very nice way, of course) And before I knew it, started to look at my commute as less of that mad dash to get to work ‘on time’ but instead, I started to look at it as my ‘me’ time to reset my mind, to switch gears from fitness instructor to PR/Marketing pro, and to get ready to rock Monday like nobody’s business.
It was that message — a message that seemed relatively minor when I first heard it on Sunday morning — that made all the difference for me on Monday. It reminded me that patience, while scarce most of the time, is something I need to find a way to harness, no matter how frustrated I can get, particularly when things are not in my control.
And you know what? I’ve already put that learning to the test tonight, in fact. The hubs is battling a cold (dear God, please not the flu!) that hit him like a ton of bricks last night. So after taking care of him last night, making him his favorite dinner and putting him to bed nice and early, I had a feeling tonight would require much of the same. I left work with the intent to hit the grocery store for all the ingredients for chicken soup…plus ice cream for dessert (his favorite). As soon as I hit the highway — bam: gridlock. Argh. For a moment I was seriously annoyed. Of ALL nights, I thought to myself (and b*tchily texted to my sis). But as we rolled along, and I remembered that test from earlier in the week, I took a deep breath and shifted my focus. I turned off the radio and opened the window a bit for some fresh air and just let my mind wander. My ‘me’ time…right?
So now I’m sitting here, belly full of chicken soup, the hubs next to me in his jammies and appearing much perkier now that he’s had chicken soup and some extra cuddles from the wifey and you know what? The scramble to the store, the mad dash to get the soup cooking, our lunches made for tomorrow and my gym bag packed again and none of that matters now.
It was worth it — for this moment, where Scott so lovingly looked at me after dinner, his eyes all watery from sneezing and blowing his nose, and said “I have the best wifey in the world.”
…and suddenly, nothing else mattered. ❤