“Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, ‘I just don’t care?'”

“Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?
Closed your eyes and trusted, just trusted?
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, ‘I just don’t care?'” – “Glitter in the Air Pink

I found these lyrics to be very fitting for how I’m feeling today – a little bit afraid, a little bit scared to trust and trying very hard to have faith. Once again, my sister is being tested and I’m trying my hardest to be strong, to help her through another trying time in her life and I’m afraid that I’m falling flat. Her beloved cat (one of two) Nala is very sick and the vet is pretty baffled at what the cause could be given she’s only six years old. All of her symptoms point to pretty scary things and I’m heartbroken to even think of where this could lead. I am saying as many prayers as I can that the vet will uncover a root cause for Nala’s symptoms and will be able to save her but I’m just so damn scared that there are so many possibilities. I am trying to put my faith to the test and realize that He does have a plan, but I’m afraid because I don’t know what that plan entails.

In fact, as usual Joel Osteen’s daily email was spot-on today — and I’m trying to use his perspective to strong-arm my faith to get it where it needs to be:

Today, if you are facing difficulty, don’t fall into the temptation to get negative and sour. That adversity is not a surprise to God. He’s not up in the heavens scratching His head and thinking, “Oh, no. Now what am I going to do?” No, He already has every day of your life written in His book. Before you had that problem, God already had the solution. He is going before you right now preparing the next chapter of your life. Stay in faith and keep the right attitude because He is moving you forward into the victory He has prepared for you.

All I know is I just want to hug my sister tight and force all of her pain, sadness and heartache away. I feel EXACTLY like I did when she first told me about her and Pete’s decision to divorce — heavy-hearted, so much so that it feels ready to burst because it aches so very much for her; and helpless because there is absolutely NOTHING I can say or do to make this better in any way. I know together we can get through this – we’ve done it before and we’ll do it again. I’m just so sad that she’s faced with something so challenging, yet again. My quasi “big sister” pants are on big-time today – overprotective and anxious to make this right for her somehow.

And, as usual, thank you for the “pass” on today’s blog which has nothing to do with fitness or healthy-living, but everything to do with the “breathe” in “EatDrinkBreatheSweat.”